100 Seconds
by AvyQuinn
Summary: She needed everything he could give her. He may have felt like a failure inside, but she didn't need his own self-pity and self-doubt now. **100 theme challenge dedicated to Light&Snow - Rated T for now - Slow building**
1. Do Not Disturb

_A/N – In the wake of my FFXIII fics and kink fics, I decided I wasn't done with Snow and Lightning yet. I love this pairing so much that I couldn't just stop... but I also wanted to write a theme challenge. So this is what I've come up with; a Snow and Lightning tale that will span over all 100 themes. Overly ambitious? Perhaps. I will update when I have the time in between other stuff I do and since I am planning for short updates, they'll be a nice change of pace._

_That being said... I hope you enjoy_

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><p><span>Introduction<span>

Serah Farron had been trying to get a hold of her older sister for nearly a month. It wasn't unusual for Claire to not return her calls; in fact, it was what she had come to expect from her sibling. Over the last couple years Claire had been increasingly withdrawn, and while it concerned her, she kept telling herself that her sister was an adult and Serah should know better than to pry. Still, she couldn't help but be anxious about what was going on in that pink-haired head of hers.

Setting the paint roller down in the tray, she climbed a rickety stepladder to tear away a strip of blue tape that had been protecting the moulding around the room. Slowly, carefully, she pulled it back, balling up the used up stuff with her free hand. Tossing the crude blue sphere onto the plastic covered floor, she descended the ladder and gave the same treatment to the baseboards at her feet.

Claire had been on her mind all day and it was apparent, even to herself, that her attention span suffered for it.

Concern wasn't the only thing she felt when she thought about Claire. Of course it wasn't. She loved her sister dearly and owed her a debt that she was afraid she could never repay, but lately there was a great deal of guilt too. Surely Claire couldn't have been happy away from her only family, could she? It had been her choice to stay on Cocoon within the ranks of the newly formed Corps, but her decision had never sat right with Serah. They'd never really talked about her sister's reasons for staying behind, and once again, Serah knew better than to try and force the issue. So she didn't.

Then there was Snow.

She heaved a sigh.

Claire still didn't get a long with her soon-to-be husband; tension was still as thick as ever when they were in the same room, which thankfully wasn't very often. Claire had never given him much of a chance, and Serah didn't think that was very fair of her. They'd left Cocoon for Pulse soon after the fall of the Sanctum. Claire was predictably upset when she told her sister they were planet hopping; maybe she felt Snow was taking her away and that's what made her so upset, or perhaps her opinion of him hadn't really changed after their forced close-quarters journey together.

In any case, Snow, as the head of NORA had made a business decision to begin work on Pulse, but in order to do that, they had to set roots there. Sadly, their departure from Cocoon only wound the strings of tension that much tighter within her lone sisterly relationship. It was so frustrating. Everything seemed so logical and simple yet made things so complicated with Claire.

To Snow and Serah's credit, however, they'd been together for years – the longest relationship for each of them – and things were still going strong. They had spats and disagreements about this and that which were resolved easily due to Snow's easy-going, eager to please attitude, but along the way, they had their fair share of surprises and unexpected events...

Though in spite of the stability Snow had provided to her on Pulse, once again, Serah was terrified. In fact, she might have been more terrified about this recent piece of news than she was back when she had to break the news about her l'Cie brand.

There was no way to know what Claire might say about _this_.

Wiping her brow with the back of her forearm, she surveyed the room. She was no professional, but the paint job wasn't half bad if she was any judge. A delicate yellow – reminded her of sunshine and daisy centres – was the colour choice for this room. A smile tugged at her lips when she thought about all the things that would happen in this space. She would see to it that it would be perfect. A cute border of cheery flowers and baby animals, happy curtains fluttering in the country breeze, a rocking chair and over in the corner would be...

Serah's smile twisted into a frown.

Eyeing her phone laying on a small push cart, the petite woman wondered if Claire had called in the last couple hours while she'd been working in the house. Serah already knew the answer, but still dreaded to look.

Snow had found a lovely plot of land outside of one of the many newly forming cities on Pulse. Never one for the hustle and bustle of city life, Snow jumped on the opportunity. Serah couldn't disagree. After all, the country would be a nice place to live, inexpensive, wide open spaces, fresh air... A perfect place to raise the family that Snow so dearly wanted.

Yes, they would be happy here...

Nearly jumping out of her skin as strong arms snaked around her waist, she shrieked in surprise. But out here it could only be one person who had touched her.

Sweeping her up into his arms all too easily, Snow cuddled her against his chest as she giggled and wiggled.

"Snow! You scared me half to death!"

A warm chuckle rumbled through his chest and she stopped squirming, choosing instead to press her ear against him to listen to the beating of his heart. It was always so steady and strong, and sometimes while they lay together in bed late at night, often when sleep wouldn't come for her, that predictable rhythm lulled her into dreams.

Not just that, but it gave her courage to listen to it knowing how many times that heart; the centre of his courage, had kept the people they cared about safe. He wasn't just _a_ hero, he was _her_ hero. He always would be.

Setting her gently back down on her feet, he placed an affectionate kiss on her forehead, a single calloused finger tracing down the side of her cheek. When he finally tore his eyes from his beloved's face, he glanced around the room.

"Whoa...You were right. That _is_ a pretty colour."

When they had bought the paint, he was skeptical; thought it might be too bright and distracting, but now that it was on the wall, it looked appropriate.

"Isn't it?" Serah said knowingly, perhaps a bit self-satisfied. "How is everything going outside?"

"Good!" he grinned proudly. "I've finished laying the boards for the deck. Tomorrow the guys will be in to help out and then..."

As Snow's voice droned in her ear, Serah's eyes drifted back to the compact handset sitting untouched on the cart. Maybe she'd call Claire again. It couldn't hurt. She'd leave another message, to accompany the one she left this morning; say the same old thing she always said...

Another heavy sigh.

Why did Claire always have to make things so hard? Moreover, why did she have to be so afraid of her big sister; of what she'd say, of the disapproving looks, the quiet, awkward tension between the three of them... all of it was exhausting.

"...Serah."

A warm touch on her face brought her eyes back around.

"Hmmm?"

"Has Lightning answered yet?"

Diverting her eyes, she shook her head. "I'm starting to get worried about her, Snow."

Wrapping his arms around her again, he nuzzled his nose into her scented hair. "I'm sure she's fine." His lips on the top of her head were comforting. "Let's call it a day. I'll make supper tonight, and you just relax. Sound good?"

Serah forced a smile, pulling out of his embrace. "Sure. Let me call her again though."

"Do you want me to take you?"

"Naw, I'm okay. I won't be long, so you better have dinner well on the way when I get back... or else." she teased, grabbing the piece of plastic from the cart on the way out the door.

Living out in the middle of nowhere was charming and relaxing, but it had its downsides. Having to travel a half hour into town for supplies and groceries was slightly inconvenient, but worse was the fact that they didn't have any communication towers in the area yet, so their phone never had a signal at the house. They were assured that the necessary steps were being taken so that coverage would be provided, but to supply all of Pulse would take time. Serah just hoped it wouldn't take forever. Luckily, there was a hill nearby to the house that Serah managed to get some weak service on.

For the past month she called only occasionally, but everyday this week she'd parked on top of that hill everyday and placed a call to her sister. And for the past week all her calls had gone unanswered and unreciprocated.

One more time...

She dialed, and it rang. ... and rang. The automated service picked up, instructing her to leave a message after the tone.

She did.

As always.

"Hey, Claire. It's me again. I wanted to talk to you... Snow and I are having a get together next weekend and I'd like for you to be there."

_We have some news_... she added in her head, thinking better of actually saying it out loud.

"Don't forget that I don't get service at the house, but you can still leave a message."

Serah hesitated for a long second.

"I'm worried about you, Sis. Please call me. I love you."

Another pause before she flipped the phone closed and tossed it on the passenger's seat. It felt too heavy to hold, and her arms too weak under its burden. Absently scratching the slightly reddened but otherwise perfectly restored skin where her l'Cie brand used to be, she started back down the road to their peaceful home.


	2. Waiting

_A/N: So my editor husband tore something in his shoulder and is unable to edit my work. I didn't let that stop me, however. This really should have gone through a beta, but encouraging my husband to do something he shouldn't - like using his arm for frivolous things like editing - makes for opportunities to re-injure. So, my apologies for this update coming to you without being edited. _

_P.S. - For those who are getting tired of this Serah bs, there will be a bit of Lightning in the next chapter! Hang in there!  
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><p>Serah started the next day the same way she started the previous one; her obsession with contacting Lightning more intense as the days went by. Even before she uttered any words to Snow, in fact, even before getting out of bed to brush her teeth, Serah plucked her phone from the beside table and checked it diligently.<p>

No missed calls.

Of course not. She didn't get any service at the house. Though she thought that through all her wishing and hoping that maybe – just maybe – Lightning's call would find her just because she _wanted_ it to.

Or maybe the communications company had put up a new tower overnight!

Optimism was the way to go, she figured.

But, crawling out of bed, optimism was forgotten, stiffness and soreness taking centre stage.

"Must have slept wrong..." she muttered on her way to the bathroom. Catching her reflection in a full length mirror, she took a step back in front of it. Turning to face it, she smoothed her hands over her sleep shirt and slightly swollen belly. Stepping to the side, hands still cupping what was mostly water retention since she wasn't actually showing yet, Serah wondered how big she might grow. She had to admit that it was exciting, even if she hadn't told anyone yet. It was a secret only she and Snow shared; unwilling to allow anyone to partake in their elation right away.

In fact, she wanted Lightning to be the first to know... if she could ever manage to speak to her again that was.

She had a healthy appetite and hadn't seen a morning of sickness like she expected, however she was exhausted most of the day. It could have had something to do with her near constant worry about Lightning's well-being and not sleeping soundly because of it, but Serah wasn't looking forward to getting as big as a behemoth down the road. Surely carrying around all that weight would sap whatever energy she had left.

In any case, she knew that Snow would be the most supportive and best husband she could ever want. She wasn't overly anxious about how the next few months would turn out, especially now that things were on the precipice of change, as long as he was by her side. He had saved her from a lifetime of nothingness, dealt with her sister like a champ, and now he would keep her and care for her and their child. Life was good with Snow, and by getting back in touch with Lightning, it would be perfect.

A quick shower and change of clothes later, Serah tucked her phone into her pants pocket and headed down the staircase into the kitchen for some breakfast to feed her complaining stomach. It was only once she reached the kitchen that she realized she must have slept longer than she thought.

On the countertop was a basket full of fruits and vegetables she recognized as varying varieties from around Pulse. Snow must have brought in from the market in town. She hadn't even mentioned wanting produce, but Snow knew she loved anything if it came off a tree or grew in the ground.

Leaning over the brimming basket, she inhaled long and deep. Everything smelled so wonderful.

Serah sighed happily, a little giddy giggle working its way up her throat.

Snow was going to make such a great father.

Though, if he had left the gift for her, that must have meant that he was back already.

Practically prancing to the kitchen window, she peeked outside into the back yard.

He _was _back, and had the help he mentioned yesterday in tow.

Snow, Gadot and a still skinny Maqui were unloading some lumber from the back of a trailer.

Gadot hadn't changed at all, still a red-headed daredevil and still getting her soon-to-be husband into trouble, she noted, perhaps a little sourly.

Maqui was tall, certainly, but he hadn't filled out over the years. He must have had the metabolism of a housefly, and had been trying to pack on some muscle like his idol, but was unable to come anywhere near Snow's physique. It wasn't for trying – the boy had a healthy appetite, Serah witnessed it often when she cooked for him and the hungry NORA gang.

Speaking of the rest of the gang, there was no sign of the others. It was unusual not to see them all together, but since the mass migration from Cocoon to Pulse, NORA was attracting more attention for their monster-wrangling skills. Perhaps they were out on a job. But even _that_ didn't make sense. Snow and Gadot would have never let them go without muscle; and out of the three – Hope, Yuj and Lebreau – Serah had to admit that Lebreau was probably the toughest.

Lebreau was often seen lecturing the boys, and Serah knew they all had a healthy amount of respect for the little firecracker. Sometimes she even wished she could be more like Lebreau or even her sister; no one liked a mousey, nondescript girl...

Scratching that spot on her arm again, where her l'cie tattoo had once been, she pulled up her sleeve and gave it a good look over. Nothing. There had been nothing there yesterday either, but it had been itching like mad. Maybe something had bit her while she was outside. So little was still known about the perils and wildlife of Pulse that she was usually extra careful when not inside and at the mercy of pests and such.

It wasn't just her health she had to be worried about now.

Smiling, she put her hand on her belly.

Just to be safe, after she ate, she would put some ointment on it.

Once fed, and the spot taken care of, she prepared a pitcher of lemonade and cups to take out to the boys who were still stacking wood and covering it in tarps. Both Snow and Gadot had shed their stuffy layers of upper clothing, but Maqui, much too shy about his own lack of form, had stripped down to his undershirt. Though, he was still sweating profusely under the thin, soaked cotton. Apparently he didn't believe Serah when she told him that he was fine the way he was and that he should be proud of his form. And he clammed up when she proclaimed he was handsome and would make a fine catch for any girl.

After she and Snow moved to Pulse, Serah suspected that Maqui had felt something more for her than friendship, and he'd begun to distance himself from the soon to be newlyweds. But she refused to let him push her away altogether. It had taken some effort, but somehow Maqui seemed to get his feelings in order, and things quickly returned to normal between the three.

As she approached them, tray in her hands, Gadot was the first to notice her. Obviously posing, he flexed his muscles as she neared. That man's muscles had muscles!

A warm smile first for her good friend, she offered the skinny blond one of the sweating glasses.

Taking the delicate tumbler in hand, a shy smile and overheated red cheeks greeting her, Maqui quickly raised the edge to his lips.

From the corner of her eye, she still saw Gadot flexing, now making a show of it; Maqui snickering as she rolled her eyes. She good-naturedly paid the redhead no mind just to see what he'd do.

Tossing down a heavy looking board onto the pile, Snow turned and grinned.

"Hey, baby!"

"I thought you boys might be thirsty." Serah made an offering to him from her tray, and he accepted, greedily gulping down the tart liquid.

"Hey! What about me? What am I? Chopped chocobo liver?" Gadot scoffed testily.

"Oh, Gadot!" Serah commented with mock surprise. "I didn't even see you standing there!"

Snow and Maqui both chuckled, and Serah relented quickly, offering Gadot the glass from her own hand, and a smile.

"You're just as bad as that sister of yours." snorted Gadot accusingly, large hand dwarfing the glassware as he accepted.

Snow's head snapped, eyes narrowed in annoyance, to Gadot as the faux pas dropped from his lips. But Serah's gaze dropped to the grass, tucking the tray under her arm.

She missed Snow leaning over to slug Gadot firmly on the bicep, and Gadot's sheepish frown.

For a moment she forgot about Lightning. As awful as it was for her to think it. For a second she was living in the present... all until Gadot – no, it wasn't his fault. Even if he did know that she hadn't been able to reach her sister, it wasn't his fault for making an innocent joke. She knew he wasn't being mean spirited and hadn't meant offense. Perhaps she was just over-sensitive due to her _condition._

Though, it would have been nice if she'd been able to get a hold of her sister... _surely_ she was getting Serah's messages.

Really, why hadn't she called by now?

"Serah. You haven't tried today, have you?"

"No." She admitted to her fiancee. She had been too busy thinking about herself. "Not yet."

"Well, let's go, then. I could use a break. I _think_ I can let this _blockhead_" he gestured at Gadot with a tip of his head "work unsupervised, but keep an eye on him anyway, Maqui."

"Will do, _boss_." Nodded Maqui seriously.

Gadot looked properly shamed, and had no rebuttle as Snow took the tray from Serah's arm and shoved it into his chest, escorting her past the other man.

The burly blond's motorcycle sat parked a short space away.

"That was a little harsh, wasn't it?" Serah said quietly.

"I don't think so." Snow responded thoughtfully. "Gadot's got a big mouth, and sometimes he's just gotta be reminded about it."

Serah's head was still hung low. She felt awful about the awkward dialogue.

"He'll be fine." Snow's huge hand was threading through her hair, soothingly. "I guarantee he'll be back to his old insensitive self in no time."

Mounting his bike, he patted the seat in front of him. Serah climbed on, with some assistance, and nestled into his arms as they closed her in, his hands on the handlebars. With a jump, the bike roared to life, and they were off.

Driving quite conservatively, Serah was a tad impatient with her chauffeur at the lengthy bit of time it took to get to the top of the hill where she managed to get reception. She wanted to make the call; obsessed over it on a daily basis; that one call that would finally connect her with her sister.

Not getting off the bike once Snow had cut the engine, she quickly dialed.

It rang once, twice.

A pause.

Then voicemail... again.

_The mailbox of the customer you are trying to reach is full. _

Her eyes widened, as she twisted around to look at Snow.

Panic.

_Please try again later._

Sheer panic.

"Serah? Serah! What's wrong?" Snow begged, hands instinctively moving to her shoulders.

Her breath caught in her too tight throat. The thought of Lightning not checking her messages shot cruel scenarios into her mind. What if she _couldn't_ check them? What if she was hurt or in the hospital? She had no friends or family on Cocoon left to take care of her!

But what if... what if she was... dead?

Gasping desperately now, Serah clutched Snow's huge forearm with both tiny hands, unable to catch her breath, pulse pounding in her ears, spots darkening her vision. "She's..."

Serah's stomach rolled, threatening to expel its contents until she felt herself being manipulated. Her legs pushed over Snow's, his strong arms plying her embrace around his middle, her face pressed against his bare chest. She closed her eyes, the feel of his body protecting her seeming to calm her somewhat.

"Hold on, baby." he murmured, hand cradling her head. "We'll be home soon. Your hero will take care of you."

The last thing she remembered was the sound of the bike and the wind whipping at her hair as Snow sped towards their home.


	3. Kick in the Head

It had taken Snow the better part of the afternoon to get Serah to calm down, and she'd been meek and apologetic for the rest of the day. She assured him that she was already fine and that he shouldn't shrug off Gadot and Maqui for her sake.

He tried to interrupt her. Several times. And each time she assured him more confidently than the last that she was just fine and that she just wanted a little time to catch her breath.

They didn't really talk about what happened or why – she didn't seem ready to do so – so Snow did what she asked and went back out to help the others. And that all would have been fine, even though his gut told him that she was more hurt than she was letting on. But if she didn't want him there, then what was he to do? The last thing he wanted was to aggravate any situation by impressing his own will.

A concealed look back through the storm door, however, saw her leaning heavily on the banister.

It was unlike Serah to keep her feelings bottled for long, but it took until the next afternoon when they were quietly relaxing in the comfortable coolness of their living room for Snow to feel as though it would be the time to broach the subject with her.

"I don't know what came over me yesterday. When I think about it now, I feel stupid. I shouldn't have freaked out like that..." Serah sighed, snuggling farther into Snow's embrace. "But it was like – well, remember that time you were working on that engine, and it overheated? Then that cap blew off and all that steam came out?"

"Mmhm..." he hummed into her hair, petting it.

"That's what it was like yesterday. First, I couldn't help but feel like something might be really wrong with Lightning. My heart started beating really fast, and I felt like I was choking... couldn't catch my breath, and then I felt like I was gonna be sick..."

Snow felt her shudder; the memory a bodily one.

"I've never felt that way before. I was really scared." She admitted in a little voice, abandoning the crook of his arm, crawling into his lap instead.

She was so tiny; so helpless in his arms. He wanted to protect her, to keep her safe and sound; her and his unborn child within her. It was strange, but he _felt_ her yesterday as she trembled in his arms, overwrought with panic. Not just physically, but he swore he felt what she felt; knew she believed, at that moment, that something was very wrong.

"It's okay." he soothed, kissing her forehead before tucking it under his chin. "Lightning is fine. You'll see."

Perhaps he wasn't as convinced as he sounded, but he wasn't about to jump to conclusions. One of them had to be stubborn enough to be stupidly optimistic; and he would make sure that it would always be him.

He would take anything she couldn't handle upon himself; catch her when she stumbled; and do all that she willed him to do.

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><p>Snow had been out working solo on the deck into the evening, and discovered, upon entering the house, that Serah had fallen asleep on the couch in front of an old movie. She must have been tired; she typically didn't watch the television, favouring more active pastimes. It was still relatively early, and even though he was tired from working all day out in the yard, Snow relished the idea of a sleepy Serah cuddled up to him in their bed.<p>

He knelt at the side of the couch and just watched her for a quiet moment.

Snow was attracted to his fiancee. There was no question about it. Though she hadn't been his usual type, there was something about Serah he adored but couldn't quite put his finger on. Sure she was beautiful and kind and sweet, but she had a way of caring about others too much. This trait had extended to himself in the beginning of their relationship, but as time went on, and they settled into their relationship; their routine, she became less and less receptive to him.

Though, to be fair, she _did_ have a lot on her mind. The pregnancy, adjusting to a new home away from Cocoon and... Lightning.

Lightning.

After he assured Serah that her sister was just fine and had probably just lost track of the date – it wouldn't have been the first time – and with a little encouragement, Serah resolved to take a day off from the stress of worrying about her sister.

Lightning always had been a work-a-holic, but _he_ understood that more than anyone else. Throwing himself into his work had a way of letting him forget about things that were bothering you, even if it was just temporarily. He tried not to do it for Serah's sake, but sometimes, when he just didn't feel a connection from her, he would work late or help to cover jobs that needed backup. He wanted to be home with his girl every waking second, but sometimes it just seemed to be less stress on Serah if he wasn't around as much as he wanted. Even though she never said anything to him about his suspicions, nor did he ask her, she offered no cross words, no suspicious questions, no remarks... just nothing at all.

Sometimes, when he ended up working by himself, Snow's thoughts ran away with him. Without someone to distract him and chat with, those thoughts and worries caught up with him.

Lately they'd been about Lightning.

He knew why _he _worked himself ragged some days, but he couldn't even begin to speculate on why she would be working too much to even keep in touch with her only family.

Snow and Lightning didn't get along; hadn't from the very start. He didn't have anything against her, even admired the will and stubborn streak that allowed her to get her way as often as she pushed – or stood with her feet rooted firmly to the proverbial ground – to get it. The only thing Serah had remained staunch on had been their relationship. And, coincidentally, that was also the one thing Lightning tried obsessively to put an end to.

At one point, before they left Cocoon, it seemed as though Lightning might have started to accept him, but a few days before they were due to leave, Lightning made it crystal clear that she still hated him, only telling him that he wasn't good enough for Serah and that she'd never change her mind about that.

After that, he never put up a fight with Serah anymore; always choosing the path of least resistance if given the option. It wasn't until Lightning said it out loud to him that he actually believed he really wasn't good enough for Serah.

He might have been a big guy, but big guys often had big hearts, and his had been bruised and abused more by Lightning Farron than anyone else. Not that he'd ever tell _her_ that.

Deciding not to disturb his sleeping fiancee just yet, Snow cleaned himself up with a shower and worked quickly at brushing his teeth before he padded downstairs in his skivvies to pick up Serah. She stirred and smiled up at him when he was halfway up the staircase to their bedroom on the second floor, deliberately stroking her hair in a way that usually made her purr, but instead, her eyes just grew heavier.

Undaunted, he hurried to the bedroom and sat her down on the edge of the bed to kneel and help her with her clothes. When it came to Serah's body, nearly every encounter they'd ever had was slow and cautious. He was so much bigger than she was, and always terrified he'd hurt her. Sometimes his enthusiasm got the better of him, and like an overgrown puppy, he was clumsy in his attempts to be gentle. Still, she seemed as though she enjoyed letting him place her, and hold her and move her while they were intimate. He enjoyed it too, but there was always the nagging thought in the back of his mind that she was too fragile to do some of the more adventurous things he had in mind. So he took as much pleasure as he could in taking his time with her and let her set the limit.

The last time they'd actually made love had been longer than Snow liked to admit to himself. He didn't _want_ to remember that the last time very well could have been the night of their baby's conception.

A hand held each foot tenderly in it's turn to pull off her socks, kept right side out like she preferred, then he lifted her arms to tug her shirt off. She was so petite. Snow would never have given her trouble if she wanted to eat more than she did, but it was almost like she was on a perpetual diet. He enjoyed cooking and encouraged her by making too much food, but she still ate like a bird. That would have to change now that he body was going to go through a myriad of changes, but he'd never push her.

Next, the pretty, lacy, petite bra.

Even after all the time they'd been together and seen each other naked, Snow felt a little shy about stripping Serah for bed. He'd done it before. But this time, unwrapping Serah's little chest set a twinge of desire sparking in his stomach. The backs of his huge mitts caressed the sides of her breasts, drawing out a lazy giggle instead of the usual moan she reacted with, as she twisted away from them.

Want hazed over his brain, and sliding his soft palms up her back, he gently pulled her toward him and nuzzled up the middle of her chest with his nose, inhaling her scent. Kissing her collarbone, she hummed sleepily, her arms wrapping loosely around his neck. Serah usually didn't stop moving; always doing something, running around the house or backyard working on a project; something that kept her busy. The only time Snow got to enjoy his fiancee as a still body was when she accepted his advances or when she was sleeping.

He hoped tonight this line of affection would lead to the former.

"Snow..." Serah breathed, lightly gripping his shoulder.

"Mmm, Serah..." Trailing light kisses down to the top of her breast, Snow was nearly giddy at the intimate allowance she was giving him.

A little breath, a little moan as he wet his lips and pressed them against her flesh.

"Did you..." a sharp, satisfied inhale as he mouthed around the perky mound "...call my sister today?"

He hadn't quite heard all over her question, and once he realized it wasn't a comment to further the mood, he stopped his ministrations. Peeking up at her from his place at the tip of her breast, his mouth ready to ply his tongue to the hardened nipple, he reminded her of her own decision. "I thought we were going to give it a day..."

"Ummm..." she blushed, diverting her eyes. "I changed my mind. Can you go try her?"

It wouldn't do any good for Serah for him to argue, so he, a bit reluctantly, pulled away from her warmth and stood up with a smile. "Anything you want, my love." Turning, he reached for a pair of sweatpants folded on the dresser.

"Before you go. Can you...?" she started innocently, and when he turned his attention back to her, she was leaned back wiggling her hips. Though the first thing he caught with her reclined like that was the gentle sway of her small, round breasts.

Another smile, not allowing himself to linger too long on her _assets_, he hooked his fingers underneath the waistband and pulled them easily off her hips. Flipping herself on her hands and knees, and crawling up the bed to pull the blanket back, Snow couldn't help but stare at her backside clad in pink polka-dot panties.

It was... _unfortunate_ that since Serah had started sleeping in just her panties, the frequency of which they made love had disappeared as the clothing had.

The knowledge that she was nearly nude in that big bed all alone wasn't the encouragement he needed to make him leave the bedroom, go get on his bike and drive to the only area near the house that he could place the outgoing call to Lightning when she wasn't even going to answer.

But he would.

"I love you, Snow-bear." said Serah through a yawn finally settling down between the sheets.

"I love you too, baby." Adjusting himself to a comfortable position inside his underwear, he put on the pants, pulled on a white tank and kissed Serah on the forehead before leaving. "I'll be right back." he assured her.

But she was already asleep.

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><p>Snow had honestly not expected the line to connect.<p>

"Serah?"

_Shit._

"Uh... Lightning."

"...Snow. Why do you have my sister's phone?"

_Double shit._

"Uh, well..."

"Let me talk to her."

The stubborn woman he was speaking to had been the target of most of his ire lately. It was _Lightning this_ and _Lightning that_. He'd never had actual blood family, but he knew _he_ would want to keep in touch with them if he had any. The fact that Lightning obviously didn't share that belief irked him to no end, and he had a lot to say about it. "She's been worried about you, Lightning."

"Then let me talk to her."

He gritted his teeth. Was that all she could say? "She's been trying to reach you for a month."

"I know."

"Then why haven't you returned her calls?"

There was a long enough pause on the other line that Snow's brows furrowed, wondering if he'd lost the signal somehow.

"I've been ...busy. Look, I just want to talk to Serah."

He was sure that Serah had told Lightning before about their reception issues, but perhaps she forgot. "We don't get any reception at the house, and so I have to drive out to where I get reception. I left Serah at home because she's not feeling well -"

"So you took my sister away from me to some alien planet, and now she's sick and can't call me from the house you built her? Seems awfully convenient, Villiers."

He couldn't win for losing with this Farron sibling.

Snow would have liked to claim that Lightning enjoyed busting his chops, but in a way that was familial and sisterly. The truth was glaring, however. She didn't see him as a _person_ let alone a friend or a soon-to-be brother-in-law. She wasn't even being _fair_ let alone playful.

And he couldn't manage anything to say, as usual.

He should have been used to her kicking him in the head while he was down, and by default, he was always grovelling at Lightning's feet, but that was something he never _wanted _to get used to. Though, on the other hand, he knew if he just accepted the fact that Lightning hated him, her verbal whippings might not sting so much.

"I will be expecting Serah to call me tomorrow at noon. You better make sure that it's not you calling me again, Snow, or I won't be happy."

And she hung up.

He looked at the phone's dark display, almost surprised, but sighed instead.

No 'nice to talk to ya' or 'talk to you later' or even a 'fuck you'.

_Hmph_.

He wasn't even worth _that _these days.

Good to know.


	4. Abandoned

She'd not slept for more than a few hours a night for the last month.

Travelling from site to site was exhausting.

Eating camp food was disgusting.

Peace and quiet, along with the complete darkness she liked to sleep in, was non-existant.

Sharing facilities with other officers was invasive.

And the vague briefings – too short and too simple; often confusing – were nigh unacceptable.

The only thing she knew was that she had been somewhere remote for the last month; overseeing a group of scientists while they collected samples Lightning knew nothing about. To make it worse, the scientists reported to their own commander that Lightning didn't have any contact with unless there was a security situation.

She felt like a glorified bodyguard.

Still, Lightning's mission was completed the way it was rolled out to her, and she even received a pat on the back from one of the higher-ups on what a 'good job' she did.

_Good job, my ass._

She might have done something about it if she had more pull within the ranks, but she was on a need to know basis and she, as they say, didn't need to know. That much was obvious. Even Amodar's usually big mouth was tight-lipped. There was something going on; the very idea that she was the left hand and had no idea what the right one was up to, made her uneasy. The last time something like that had happened, she and a motley crew of civilians had been thrust into the middle of a conflict none of them should have had anything to do with.

Except for one of them, of course.

The one that got them all into that mess in the first place.

Lightning twisted, throwing herself over onto her stomach, balling the corner of her pillow beneath her chin, slipping her arm under its coolness.

Snow Villiers. That bastard.

Him and his little group of misfits; NORA.

On top of that, he drug her sister into life-threatening conflict all in the name of puppy love accompanied by a severe lack of good sense.

And then, Serah chose him over her. It had taken Lightning by surprise, but it really shouldn't have.

Even still... Lightning would never forgive him.

It had been some time since all of their lives had changed. Once close, the friends were all now scattered to the wind; most living on Pulse; or so she thought. Honestly, she hadn't kept as close touch as she really should have, friends or not.

Unable to recall the details, Lightning knew all she had to do was browse the databanks and files of her once brothers-in-arms, and all would be refreshed; the intelligence of the government always top notch. It was important to the Neo-Sanctum to keep tabs on the people the most involved; herself included.

Even though she had heard about the intentions of the reforming government the people cried for, she found herself unable to visualize what her life might be like if she wasn't a soldier. There would always be puppets, and always someone to tug the strings.

That's how it was.

Besides, she told herself that if _she_ was the one peeping in on the personal lives of her friends from time to time, it wasn't was bad as it sounded. Maybe it could have even been construed as protecting them from afar, even if that's not what it really was.

She'd been surprised the Neo-Sanctum had taken her back on after all that had happened, but it was for the better. This way, she had always been kept in the know, and had access to the latest intelligence when it came to related matters.

But lately...

She couldn't sleep; her mind racing and lethargic all at the same time. Not sharp; dull and slow witted behind sandpaper eyes.

Rubbing her temples, she sat up in bed and looked at the clock. She saw the little red light beside the time; she'd set her alarm to go off just before Serah was due to call her, but at the rate her mind was working, she knew she'd not have need of an alarm. And it wasn't just late anymore, it was early.

Besides, it was too quiet, and too dark for her to sleep anyway. Her natural rhythms were messed up; she woke to the sound of a pin drop, and slept with a knife under her pillow, on edge more than she was ever relaxed, all thanks to the jarring lifestyle of a soldier.

Flinging her legs over the side of the bed, she dropped her head between her knees, hands on the back of her head. She felt disconnected from everything except how pissed off she was at arriving home to a full up voicemail box and the _last_ person on Pulse she wanted to talk to.

After speaking to Snow, having practically just having walked in the door, Lightning hadn't felt like unpacking anything before she crashed. She _must _have dozed off at some point, having an hour or two unaccounted for in her memory, she was too agitated now to even try again.

Padding barefoot out of her room, she made her way into the kitchen of the Farron family home. Flipping on the overhead lighting, she sat down at the island, resting her head on her hand and surveyed the only kitchen she'd ever sat in for the long years of her life.

The fact that everything was the same and had been since her parents died was somewhat comforting.

Well, mostly everything.

A brown, shrivelled houseplant sat on the windowsill by the kitchen sink.

"Ah shit."

Approaching the sad sight, she stuck a fingertip into its bone-dry soil, and sighed.

Grabbing a glass from the side cabinet, she filled it with tap water and carefully poured it into the plastic pot. But, to her dismay, the water simply ran through the pot like a sieve, flooding the sill; some dripping into the sink below.

Unconcerned with the mess, she took the pot in hand and lowered it to the faucet.

She'd heard somewhere that sometimes a good soaking is what houseplants needed. So that's what she did.

"I hope it's not dead..." she muttered under the judgemental hiss of water.

She'd been so careful with it up until now. What had she been thinking this time? Lightning's dispatch missions were never usually longer than a week.

So what did she to expect to find after being gone for a whole month with no one to tend to it?

The vibrations from simply holding the drab plastic pot caused the plant to shudder, every single leaf dropping off it; whispered crackles as they landed in the porcelain sink and were washed into the drain.

Once green and pretty, all that was left was bare twigs.

Lightning sighed as she set it down and turned off the water.

Rubbing a dry, tiny end between her fingers, she stared dejectedly.

She hadn't even said a proper good-bye...

She wanted a chance to do it again...

"Get it together, Farron..." she warned herself, raking her hands over her face.

Unceremoniously picking up the too-light plastic pot, she toted it to the trash, stepped on the lid lever... and hesitated.

Serah had left this plant behind when Snow took her to Pulse.

No bones about it, Lightning had been hard on Serah; their last words were not kind, nor were they many. She told Serah to take all her stuff – to '_empty your room and leave if that's the way you want it_' if she recalled correctly. Looking back on it, she realized that she'd been angry; and, as usual, she'd said something she regretted.

She felt as though Serah had abandoned her; _gave up _on her... after all Lightning had done; took care of her, made sure she ate and went to school, studied and got good grades... and all Serah did was leave in the end.

With _him_.

Lightning put the pathetic, leafless mass of twigs back on the windowsill and just stood there; her hopelessness reflected in the dark window pane.

In a way, this dried up little plant was the last thing she had of her little sister... and she'd killed it.

Maybe... it was an omen.

Maybe... it was the way it should be.

Maybe Lightning should do them a favour and leave them alone; change her name, change her number and take some remote post somewhere to live out the rest of her miserable life.

Because that's all she was.

_Miserable._

What good was she to anyone now?


	5. Standing Still

With the exception of the amount of people living in the Farron household, nothing had changed.

Lightning still slept in the same room she'd slept in since she was a child. She could have easily moved into her parent's master bedroom, but she hadn't done anything to their room since they died. She didn't need the space, and so it had gone unused and unchanged for years. Lightning couldn't remember the last time she had gone into the room to even dust it.

When Serah had been at school, and she had a few precious hours at home before going back to her work with the Sanctum, Lightning would come into the room and dust; sort of putter around, straightening pictures that never moved, smoothing bedspread that never rumpled.

Lovingly brushing the downy duster over frames and lamps and varnished wood, back then, it was her time alone and time to spend with her parents.

Recently, it had been way before Serah left with Snow that she'd last stepped foot into it.

Climbing the few stairs to the abandoned room, she placed her hand on the brass knob and drew a deep breath. Staring at her grip, she twisted her wrist and pushed gently.

Sun bright in her eyes, particles of fluff and dust stirred familiarly in the yellow light of the late morning.

Just how they'd left it.

And in that room, where she always stepped lightly to disturb no one, she was still Claire.

She recalled countless hours spent in the room with her mother; especially before Serah.

Sometimes they lounged in the room in the afternoon in the sunbeams that permeated the windows and warmed the bed. Claire would roll around like a cat in the sunshine, while her mother sat with a sketch pad and smudged, black fingertips, smiling as Claire settled in for a nap. There were other rooms in the house, but they didn't ever sit in any of those; her mother preferring the light in the only room facing the particular direction that turned golden in the afternoon.

Squinting against the bombardment of light, she glanced around.

If things hadn't changed back then...

If they hadn't died...

Squeezing the knob with her hand so hard it trembled, she bit back the tightness in her throat.

Then the jarring sound of her ring tone startled her, and she quickly shut the door to seal the light, the heavy smell of stagnation rushing past.

Calming her heart, she breathed deeply for a second before reaching in her pocket and pulling out the infernal piece of plastic.

It was Serah.

Putting some distance between herself and her parent's room, she didn't answer the call until she was well away from the room and the memories.

Her sister sounded so genuinely happy to talk to her that she didn't have the heart to give Serah trouble over the fact that she'd ended up talking to Snow last night. It had been an unwelcome surprise, but Lightning got her point across, instead, when she made it very clear that Serah should take care of herself and that Snow couldn't possibly be useful when it came to, well, anything. She'd not received the normal defensive response from Serah, which made Lightning a little suspicious, but instead of brow beating Serah for information, she let it go.

Apparently she'd find out soon enough what life was like for her little sister.

Serah had invited Lightning to come and stay at her place on Pulse for a little while; said she missed her older sis and they really needed to catch up.

There were things she wanted Lightning to see, and things she wanted them to talk about.

Lightning had rolled her eyes.

She could just imagine.

But if any of the topics had to do with Snow, she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear it.

She'd even opened her mouth to refuse the invitation, but found that the refusal simply didn't come, and all she _could_ say was that she'd see if she could get the time off. A pointless comment, Lightning knew very well that Amodar would end up forcing her to take the time off; especially since there was a reason for it. Lightning Farron was the only officer that denied leave, and Amodar nearly begged her to take some days to herself, saying that _he'd_ catch hell if she didn't follow orders and just _go home._

She wasn't sure how much of that was true, but Amodar had done so much for her that she didn't want to cause him any trouble.

Even so, she wasn't looking forward to asking for time off.

But Lightning didn't like to deviate from her schedule and life of comfortable predictability. The only thing that was anywhere near unpredictable was what she had to deal with while at work, and that was more than enough excitement for her. Lately, even that had been too much, what with all the secrecy whirling around the Neo-Sanctum's activities on Pulse and Cocoon alike.

Life had taken too long to return to normal after the whole l'Cie mess, and that was all she had ever wanted; peace and quiet and for people to just leave her the hell alone.

_You sure got that wish._

"Yeah, yeah. I'll see what I can do." she groused.

Serah sounded far too excited; that high pitched voice made Lightning's eye twitch.

Once off the phone, that excited squeal ringing in her ears had punctuated everything louder than the silence that weighed in the kitchen where she sat, staring at the sad, dead plant.

* * *

><p>Of course Snow wasn't surprised when Serah arrived back at their home and brought Snow up to speed on her chat with Lightning. She hadn't been gone long, but Snow wasn't sure what to expect. It was obvious the older Farron wasn't much of a chatterbox; in fact, 'cold and severely unimpressed' had been the standard for all his interactions with her. He just hoped it was been different when it came to her only family.<p>

"She said that work has been really busy and that she didn't get reception at the site they posted her group to, so that's why she wasn't able to answer any of my calls."

Snow snorted. Trying to hide his displeasure about the whole situation, he didn't stop to chat while unloading a pile of deck boards from the back of the construction trailer. "So will she be able to make it down?"

"I don't know for sure... but at least she said she'd see if she could get the time off work." finished Serah, obviously reaching for some enthusiasm.

There was a lot more he wanted to add to the conversation, but it was all unnecessary and would only serve to upset his delicate love. They'd discussed Lightning so much since leaving Cocoon that it was like beating a dead chocobo.

Serah insisted that he wasn't the cause of the rift between the Farron sisters, but Snow wasn't stupid. He knew two things: one – that he'd been a problem from day one, and two – he knew better than to badmouth Lightning to Serah. She and Serah were still very close in Serah's eyes, and he would have just made things harder for himself the next time they both _did _get along together...

There was _no _way he was getting caught up in _that_. Sometimes his jaw hurt just _thinking _about the repercussions, so he'd keep his mouth shut, and if he ever _did _have to say anything, he'd stay completely neutral. At least that way he might be able to keep his testicles in tact for later use.

"I don't know why she has to be so difficult all the time." Serah sighed, looking completely exhausted. "Her _dislike_ of you really makes things hard, yknow?"

Snow stopped working and looked pointedly at Serah, mouth curved into a reminiscent frown.

He felt like an asshole. Here he was thinking about himself when Serah was obviously struggling. It didn't _matter _how many times they talked about this very topic, he should at least show the right level of compassion no matter how much personal displeasure he suffered. Cosmetically speaking, Lightning and Serah's familial relationship problems might have beenabout him, but at the core, he suspected it really had very little to do with him.

He jumped off the back of the trailer and hugged his little lady. "I'm sorry, Serah. I actually wish your sister _didn't_ hate my guts."

"Me too." came the muffled response from within his embrace, her face hot against his chest.

It was true what he said, but for some reason that little voice from the woman he held stung. Serah had never admitted out loud what they both knew about Lightning's irritation with the burly blond, and he always knew it, but to _hear_ it kind of hurt.

And it wasn't the first time he considered that maybe Serah would have been better off without him.

It was too late now, however.

Perhaps it was time to re-double his efforts to make his soon-to-be-bride – and mother of his child – happy. That was, afterall, what he was there for.

They stood there for a long moment under the afternoon sun, Snow's huge body eclipsing Serah's delicate frame. He needed to do more of that, he knew; more protecting, more touching, more reassuring. She needed everything he could give her. He may have felt like a failure inside, but she didn't need his own self-pity and self-doubt now.

He needed to her her Hero more than ever.

He might not have understood it when he felt Serah start to sob, the accompanying dampness of her tears soaking into the fabric of his t-shirt.

"I'm... sorry...Snow." she babbled nasally.

He hushed her, the empathetic smile on his face bringing forth a gentleness in his voice he was rarely afforded.

"You're such a silly girl. You have nothing to be sorry for."

A hand trailed down her lower back and he rubbed there for a short time, right where he knew their baby would be resting. He would have to try harder to not upset her; it wasn't good for a woman in her condition. The last thing he wanted was to screw something _else_ up.

Because if anyone had anything to atone for, it was him.


	6. Smile

_A/N: UGH! I have this ... **thing** for Lightning and Zack. (You'll know what I'm talking about if you read Misdirection.) Anyway, this isn't going to turn into a Lightning/Zack fic, so never fear. I do however, need someone to fill a role in my tale and would prefer to use actual Final Fantasy characters as opposed to making up my own. OCs FTL. Why not use one from FF13 you ask? Well, I *would* use Raines since he's the only other man I'd pair with Lightning, but I don't think I can work sexy Cid in the way I want due to canon events._

_(Hmm? Sephiroth? Yes, well, I reserve the right to use him at a later date and time.)_

_Ahem. All that being said... we'll see where this goes. Thanks to everyone who is on this crazy, ambitious ride with me. I will try not to disappoint!_

* * *

><p>She had a raging headache.<p>

Usually sleep deprivation wasn't something that made a huge impact on her, but last night her brain had been in overdrive. Painfully aware of every minute that ticked by because she had been starting at her bedside clock for most of the night, each second bore witness to her maddening insomnia.

Coffee in one hand and briefcase in the other, she made her way down the hallway to her small office. If it was one thing she hated doing was running into the rest of her 'colleagues' at the beginning of the day. Lightning wasn't part of the office clique or any other group for that matter, keeping to herself unless duty required her to deviate from her comfort zone. So, seizing the opportunity to get some early-bird paperwork taken care of since sleep so cruelly evaded her, she arrived a good two hours before anyone would even think about coming in.

During regular hours, she was always busy.

Personnel issues, rosters, training exercises, missions; along with her promotion to Captain, Lightning didn't just get an upgrade in pay, but she also got a massive upgrade in responsibility. Gone were the days when she waited for orders to carry out without another thought. Now, she was really a glorified middle man; getting orders and passing them along word for word. Some thought the rank of 'Captain' held power, but the only thing Lightning realized since she'd taken the rank was how little power she actually had. The percieved power, and the realistic lack-there-of, was something she wasn't entirely comfortable with yet despite the fact that she occupied the position for the last few months.

There had to be a happy medium somewhere.

Once in her office, she set her stuff down, sat at her desk, and began leafing through the various folders and papers awaiting her attention. Knowing that her paperwork wasn't up-to-date nagged at her, and she told herself that if she didn't get it done, she couldn't request the time off she needed until it _was _done.

Some threat _that_ was.

She didn't even _want _to request the time off...

"You always look beautiful in the morning."

Lightning felt her eye twitch.

_I knew I should have closed my door. What the hell is he even doing here this early?_

She didn't look up.

She didn't have to; that flirtatious lilt was impossible to ignore. So, instead, she did something she'd never done before. Shifting her eyes away from her paperwork and up at him, she smiled.

Right away one of his eyebrows cocked and he looked wary.

By now he knew that Lightning Farron didn't smile at _anyone_.

Slowly; deliberately; and as sensually as she could, she got up from her desk and made her way to where he stood just inside her office.

Reaching her hand out to grip the military issued tie tucked into his crisp military issued uniform, she heard his breath hitch. Never taking her gaze away from his, she licked her lips, and leaned forward ever so slightly. It was the closest she'd been to anyone in a long time, and being this close to Zack Fair felt odd; his violet eyes almost glowed.

He was tall; very tall.

And he was wearing cologne.

If she hadn't been completely uninterested by his stupid questions and lame claims that they were 'friends', she may have considered him handsome.

But handsome didn't over-write annoying.

Tugging on the tie, he was caught in the gaze between them, and it was easy work for her to suddenly shove him with the one hand out of her office and into the hallway to slam the door.

Once the door was shut between them, she dusted off her hands, stalked back to her desk and took up her paperwork once again.

From the other side of the door, she heard him chuckle good-naturedly – which _also_ pissed her off.

"Catch you later, _friend._"

Lightning rolled her eyes.

Captain Zackary Fair:

Womanizer, creep, and a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen.

Other than that, all she really knew was that he was an officer from one of the detachments on Pulse.

What he was doing on Cocoon, Lightning couldn't even guess. Everyone said Cocoon was the past and Pulse was the future! If one didn't believe the slogan, all they had to do was look at the waning population of Cocoon. With 3 out of every 4 residents of Cocoon abandoning their homes, the proof was there for anyone to see. So, if that was true, then why the relocation to the dying planet?

She hadn't asked the obvious source of information at all after she'd been introduced to him in Amodar's office, choosing to keep to herself rather than get involved with someone else – even if they _did _hold the same rank she did. More than that, she simply hadn't had the time, or desire, to dig into someone else's personnel file, not did she want to encourage his bad behaviour.

Still, he drew her suspicions with his quiet demeanour and dark features.

He was mysterious, and, in her experience, mysterious meant dangerous.

_And_ he kept looking at her.

It made her feel uncomfortable.

However, it didn't take long for him to dispel that thick air of uncertainty and danger around him; all he had to do was open his mouth.

"_So whaddya do for fun around here?"_

That had been the first thing he ever said to her. Looking at him through narrowed eyes, she begged his pardon. Bodhum was a small town, he explained, and being from Palompolum originally, he had never seen any place so unexciting. She couldn't disagree when he hit the nail on the head; but she preferred her hometown that way. Things were quiet, and calm and peaceful since that time before the change, and she told him so. He asked if she liked 'boring' and she confirmed that she guessed she did, though _she_ wouldn't put it in such a manner. She preferred 'stable'. He laughed at her then, and, for some reason, it pissed her off so much she could feel the tips of her ears burn.

Deciding that conversation with him was frivolous and irritating, Lightning even made attempts to avoid him, but somehow it wasn't working.

He'd meander to her office everyday, usually whenever he felt like it, never at the same time, and try to strike up a conversation. She hoped that eventually he'd realize that she had no desire to talk to him, and just go away, but he never did. One afternoon she outright ignored him, but he was unfazed and continued to hold a conversation with just himself standing in the threshold of her office doorway.

Eventually she had to stop his self-centric chatter or go insane.

"Go away, Fair."

"Oof!" she heard him exclaim, and watched him dramatically stagger backward, hand over his heart. "Is that how you treat your friends, Light?"

"It's Captain to you." she scowled. "And we're _not _friends."

"Au contraire." he grinned, his too-white teeth almost glinting in the sun from the window "I think we're _great_ friends."

Captain Farron had nothing to say to that proclamation, and instead, she was left shaking her head, wondering how crazy Zack Fair actually was.

After that, he saluted and left her office without another word.

But somehow, even though she couldn't explain it, she felt like she had lost that round.

* * *

><p>Dealing with Zack always left her unsettled. Lightning's lack of concentration seriously set her productivity back, but she soldiered on. She didn't have much of a choice. Diving into her paperwork like a woman possessed, she flew through pages and signatures.<p>

When she finally looked up, she realized the sun was sinking in the sky and her stomach was growling. Stretching, she eyed the door. No one had knocked on it all day. It was a welcome change, but unusual; especially for him. Cursing under her breath, she thought of that stupid smile that was constantly pasted on his stupid face.

"'We're great friends...'" she muttered, recalling one of those few encounters with him. She wished that he would stop referring to her as a 'friend'. They had seen eachother in the hall, he'd come to her office like a stray pup looking for attention, but that was the extent of their personal relationship. As for their working relationship, they commanded the same type of brigade, and served under the same General, but that was the limit of their likeness.

"Who the hell even _says_ that? He doesn't even know anything about me." Flipping the pages of a report with unnecessary fervour, she kept on with her annoyed disbelief at his attitude. "Presumptuous jerk."

Gripping her pen hard, she scribbled her signature on the last page of the document; a monthly supply order for the people in her squadron.

Shoving the file into her outgoing basket, she automatically reached for the pile of files she still had to get through and realized the pile was empty. A quick sweep of her desk told her that she'd actually done all there was to do and that maybe she hadn't made such poor progress afterall. Typically she was good with her paperwork, but she'd done this set in record time.

And then she wished she hadn't done it all so quickly because there was only one last thing to take care of before she left the building.

* * *

><p>Amodar's office door was open, and it wasn't empty when she arrived.<p>

In fact, it had the one person inside she'd been trying to avoid since slamming the door in his face earlier in the day.

"_Captain_ Farron." Zack made a show of using her rank as she entered the room; that fucking _grin_ still on his face. She began to doubt if it ever even left.

"Is there something wrong with your _own_ office that you have to waste time in everyone else's?" she muttered under her breath coldly.

He merely shrugged, still smiling. "Well, I _did _prefer the temperature in this one up until a few moments ago."

"Farron!" Amodar stood and smiled as well. "What's up?"

"Well, sir... I -" she began, and looked sideways at Captain Fair standing, _listening _intently. "Can I speak to you in _private_, sir?"

"Ah, yes." he nodded, and addressed the black haired Captain. "Zack, excuse us, would you?"

His transfer was a measly three weeks ago and they were already on a first name basis?

Lightning kept her poker face while Zack Fair showed himself out.

Once the door closed, Lightning remained silent until she was sure Fair would have been long gone. She didn't want to give him any ammunition to work with and leave herself at a disadvantage.

When she explained the situation to Amodar – with as little detail as possible – he hadn't even let her finish before giddily producing the necessary paperwork for her vacation.

And the last thing he said to her was:

"Don't worry about your men, Light. Zack will take over for you while you're gone."

Her eye twitched the rest of the day.


	7. Vacation

_A/N: Because I seem to have a little writer's block with my other stories, here's a new chapter of this one. Sorry, once again, for the time in between, and I KNOW it's short, but I hope I haven't lost too many of you. I won't make excuses, and all I can do is thank you for hanging in there! So, thank you!  
><em>

* * *

><p>It would have been nice if she'd actually had a little time to herself before having to catch the shuttle to Pulse. As it was, she had barely been able to take care of her neglected paperwork before she was practically kicked out of her office by Amodar. One day all to herself wasn't going to be enough to unwind.<p>

Although, she didn't feel as though she needed time off until she was faced with it, in the form of silence as she watched her alarm clock flip from 5:29 to 5:30 in the morning.

She didn't have to catch the shuttle until just after noon, and as strange as it felt to wander around her empty house, it was like something inside of her exhaled. There was no one to report to and no one to give orders to.

It was just her, and she enjoyed the change of pace. In fact, she took her sweet time showering, and eating and reading the paper, packing her bag, and _still_ ended up ahead of schedule.

Being early and on time for things was something that was in her genetic makeup, she figured. She remembered that her mother was always on time too. There were plenty of occasions that Lightning recalled her mother playfully nagging her father into moving a little faster so they wouldn't be late. Sometimes she even sent Lightning into the fray to do her dirty work; prompting her about what to say and how to say it in order for the matriarch to get her own way.

Lightning's father could never say 'no' to his little girl, and everyone knew it.

After unnecessarily triple checking all her preparations, Lightning found herself standing outside her parent's room once again, hand on the cold metal knob. She had to go in eventually; had to face whatever reason she avoided the room. There was something _else_ in it besides old family photos and blankets that had lost their scented comfort long ago.

It had been ages since she'd been in there last, and she couldn't even remember why she didn't want to go in in the first place. There was no reason to be so hesitant. It was just a damn room. It had stuff in it; a bed, a vanity, a closet, windows...

Lightning drew in a deep breath and began to turn the handle.

...clothes, her mother's favourite jewellery box, her father's reading glasses...

Then there came a rap at the front door.

Stopping the twist of the knob, she squeezed it, unwilling to let it go right away.

With a great exhale, she finally released it, and padded down the wooden hall to the front of the house.

But her visitor was the last person she expected to be standing on her doorstep.

"Hey Light."

Tall, gangly, silver-haired, bright-eyed, and mildly handsome, it was one Hope Estheim.

He wore a nervous, crooked smile and fine clothing; the combination strange on him. She'd seen him a handful of times over the years, and had always been surprised to see how different he'd look at each meeting. Expectantly, he had been going through teenage phases, long hair, short hair, _no_ hair. Once, she swore that he'd been wearing _eyeliner_, but she never confirmed it.

He said he had pierced 'some things' he said last time they talked, but she wasn't privy to a picture or a face-to-face meeting then, and she tried desperately to not use her imagination.

As he stood on her front stoop, there was no visual evidence of any piercings other than both ears. She guessed he must have pierced them back then – which, when she thought about it, wasn't wholly unattractive on his feminine looking face; silver loops perfectly placed in the middle of each lobe. Honestly, the eyeliner phase that came right before the piercing news prompted her to expect the worst.

She'd gone through some phases of her own, having been a tomboy during most of her formative years, but suspected – with an inward laugh – that they were probably more manly than any phase Hope had been through lately.

She might have only really seen him once or twice a year, but she was involved enough in his life that she could see him growing up.

And she never really got over the fact; phases or not.

"What are you doing here?" she asked flatly. It wasn't that he was unwelcome... the _timing_ was just weird.

"Uh. I was in the area."

Lightning cocked an eyebrow.

"Visiting your father?" she supplied skeptically.

"Uh. Yeah. But I was about to catch the shuttle to Pulse."

So _that's_ what all this was about. Serah wanted to make sure that her big sister wasn't going to go back on her word, huh?

If Lightning hadn't have already thought about doing just that, she might have been a little insulted.

Turning around, Lightning waved her hand to invite Hope inside.

"So Serah sent you to make sure I show, didn't she?"

"Serah? Uh, well..."

The door – heavy, solid wood – slammed noisily shut as was its way when left to close on its own.

"Ah!" Hope exclaimed in surprise, voice echoing loudly in the vestibule. "Shit. Sorry."

Lightning was already casually making her way to the kitchen. "Swearing now, are we?" she chided.

"Uh..."

She resigned not to give the kid a hard time about the real reason he was there. He was just doing a favour, or whatever; an innocent in the conflict – and there was no reason to turn him into a casualty.

"Relax, kid. I'm just giving you a hard time." Plucking a mug out of the cupboard, she turned to see Hope had taken refuge on the far side of the island in the middle of the kitchen.

He wasn't a kid anymore.

That much was obvious in his face. A bit more than mildly handsome, Lightning found herself actually proud of the way he looked. Nothing over the top, nothing too daring; sensible and clean, and attractive. He must have been beating the girls off with a stick.

"The shuttle doesn't leave for another hour. You want some coffee?"

The silver-haired youngster shook his head in refusal. "No, thanks."

He looked jittery. And _nervous._ Perhaps he'd already had too much coffee.

Even though Hope was developing the body of an adult, it appeared he had a long way to go when it came to an adult personality. For some reason Zack Fair's grinning face popped into her mind, and she grimaced.

_What a time to think about an idiot like that. _

Hope was anything but a creep. There wasn't even a comparison.

Banishing annoying thoughts, she drank deeply of her stained and well loved cup. She liked her coffee black, and, on occasion, spiked, and it didn't always have to be _good, _but it was always good when it was hot.

And she drank so much of it at work, that it had lost it's caffeinated edge a long time ago. Now she was just used to the taste and the comforting way it was warm all the way down.

Watching Hope – who shyly looked away when she met his eye - over the edge of her mug, she was tempted to retrieve the flask of spirits she stowed away in her carry on and get her vacation started early.

It was going to be a long trip.

* * *

><p>On a whim, Serah had suggested that a swing for the porch might be a nice touch, and Snow took that suggestion and ran with it. He was hesitant to leave Serah, even after she assured him she was okay, but he made for the city to see what he could find.<p>

He wanted to do whatever he could in preparation for Lightning's visit, and to make his girl happy, so of course he had to go.

There had been pre-made swings at the hardware store he frequented, but they didn't look rustic enough for Snow's tastes, and since he'd always been good with building things from the ground up, he decided to continue with his do-it-yourself trend.

He had designed the deck, so it was only natural that he'd design all the relevant accessories.

And when the time came, he would even build a playset for his kid.

He was really looking forward to it.

That's what Dads did, afterall.

Reaching out to examine a packet of nails, his phone rang in his pocket.

Looking at the display, he smiled.

It was about time.

"Hey, kiddo. You on the train with her?"

If he had any hand in it, he would make sure things turned out as best as they could for Serah and his family. That included making sure Serah was happy, and making sure Serah was happy meant doing what he could to get Lightning to Pulse and get along with her once they were in the same room together.

_That_ was, historically, the part that was out of his hands.

But there wasn't any other option this time.

If she didn't hate him when she left after her stay, he'd consider things a win.

Even better if she _liked _him.

...But he wasn't hoping for miracles.


	8. Starvation

"This is so awesome!" laughed Hope, screaming into the wind, and gasping as it took his breath away.

Lightning grinned lopsidedly, cranking up the stereo in the luxury rental, giving it more gas. Directions to her little sister's home had arrived on her phone shortly after they'd last spoke, but Lightning decided that she and Hope should take a little detour.

The happy couple's homestead was about forty minutes north of Leamonde. The detour, both pretty and distracting in equal measure, would add another thirty minutes at least to their arrival time, but Lightning wasn't concerned.

Thankfully, no one met them at the depot. She half expected banners and smiles and hugs. Totally not her style, so she was glad that Serah dispensed with the welcoming party.

While waiting for their luggage, her young travel companion had obviously been instructed to call for a ride, but Lightning had other plans. Snapping the phone out of Hope's hand before the call even connected, she turned it off and pocketed the piece of plastic.

That was when she had formulated her plan.

"They don't have service at the house, remember? I'll just have to rent a vehicle."

Sidling up to the counter, she inquired with the attendant what type of rentals they had. Rattling off a bunch of the brand new models they had available, Lightning watched Hope's telling expression. It didn't take an expert to tell that he was interested in quite a few of them, so when the bubbly girl behind the counter fell silent, Lightning left the choice up to Hope.

Once he was finished sputtering, the question being unexpected, she discovered that he was very fond of convertibles.

And that's what Lightning chose.

She suspected that Hope had no idea where they were, and he didn't seem to care. She enjoyed watching him carefree as they meandered the countryside, but eventually, when they came to the top of a hill, Lightning rolled to a stop.

Below was a lush green valley, road winding down into it, picturesque and wild; like it was a place time had forgot. Most of Pulse looked like that, still having been underdeveloped in spite of its new resident's best attempts.

And quite a ways down the road was a house; large enough to notice it from such a distance. It must have been huge close up.

She was reminded of a phone call Serah had made to her some time ago. In that high pitched voice of hers, Serah sung Snow's praises; how he'd built them a house, how beautiful it was, and how it was perfect – except for the problems with reception – but otherwise a wonderful place to make memories for the rest of their lives.

She was lucky that she never answered her phone, because Lightning almost didn't even make it through the sickeningly happy voice message.

As far as she was concerned, Serah already had a home.

Somewhere perfect and beautiful already furnished with memories.

Even after all the time that passed, she _still_ felt betrayed by, what she knew was, a natural progression of life. Natural or not, that didn't make it sting any less.

Lightning's hands gripped the steering wheel.

She had wondered, from time to time when she was feeling weak, if she had been too hard on her little sister. Then she remembered that Serah was an adult and could make whatever decisions she wanted; and if she wanted to leave, then it was her right and privilege. Lightning didn't have any say anymore in Serah's life, and the youngest Farron had made that _completely_ clear.

No matter how much Lightning wanted to stop the flow of time, it marched on without a seconds hesitation, leaving behind those who couldn't move with it.

Just like Serah moved on.

And left her behind.

And suddenly, Lightning was overcome with the urge to kick Hope out of the car, turn it around and head back to Cocoon.

"Light?"

She couldn't look at him, not when she felt like such a coward, so she stared at her hands.

"What?"

"Uh... that's it down there, isn't it?" he asked carefully.

"Mmhm."

The great Captain Lightning Farron was hesitant to step onto turf that wasn't her own, or even neutral. Snow, even after all this time, still felt like the enemy.

He'd taken away everything Lightning had left; even if Serah pleaded her case because she _wanted_ to go, Lightning would never be able to see it any other way.

She squeezed the wheel again, knuckles white, unable to bring herself to put the vehicle in gear and continue down the road.

A warm, slim hand slid over hers, and she breathed again, looking over at the hand's owner.

Hope's face was concerned, but soft.

He knew. Of _course_ he knew. He was looking straight through her with those green eyes of his.

It wasn't a secret; _everyone_ knew how she felt about her little sister and Snow, but maybe she hadn't ever given Hope enough credit because he had been young back then. Lightning took a shine to him, and he to her, even when she was unable to truly accept anyone else in their little group of ex-l'cie.

So who better to wrangle her than the little boy she found she could not hide her heart from.

Lightning berated herself for not being able to do just that. It wasn't fair to burden him with things he was too young for.

Then again, she needed to remember that he wasn't the kid he used to be.

He might have grown up before she was really ready for it, but that didn't change how dear to her the young man was.

And there were very few that were.

Twisting her wrist to give his hand a fond squeeze in her own, she took a deep breath as she nodded. It was the first time in a long time that she felt someone's presence bolster her.

"Let's go."

"Okay." he agreed.

* * *

><p>"So, Hope." started Snow.<p>

Everyone looked up from their dinner.

It was ridiculous; sitting in the same room, silent, pushing bland food around her plate, pretending she wanted to be there. She really wasn't looking forward to having to eat Serah's cooking either; perhaps she'd be able to feign illness halfway through the week and go home early.

"I heard you've been kicking butt in the science department at the University."

Lightning's eyes shifted to Hope's embarrassed expression. They hadn't talked much about Hope's life on the way down to Pulse, sticking mostly to neutral topics, but Lightning had been curious about how he'd been over the last while. Usually when there was an image change, a change in attitude went along with it.

"Yeah!" Serah chimed in, speaking around a mouthful of food. Taking a sip of water to delicately swallow it down, she continued. "Do you have a girlfriend yet?"

Hope's eyes darted to Lightning's face, and her heart went out to him. His already pinked cheeks flushed scarlet at the question.

"Uh, well. I don't know about all that." he murmured, shifting his gaze away from the scrutiny.

"What do you mean you 'don't know about all that'?" Snow prodded.

"The girls must like your new look. You're handsome, all fresh-faced and well-dressed." Serah added irritatingly.

"The last time we saw you, I could have sworn you were wearing _eyeliner_!" laughed Snow until he winced, and Serah tucked her elbow back into her side.

Those broadening shoulders of his slumped, head dipping toward his lap. He'd been rather quiet since they arrived at the homestead, and Lightning was a little curious as to why exactly.

"Ugh. Give the kid a break." she groused, feeling a little protective of the boy.

And once again the room was shrouded in silence; everyone shifting in their seats without further comment.

Snow's fork scraped obnoxiously on his plate as he cut his meat, and Lightning thought she might jump over the table and slam his head into it.

They'd only just arrived a few hours ago, but she was already contemplating how to get away with murder.

But instead of acting on her illegal desires, she firmly speared a piece of broccoli to stick in her mouth.

Uncharacteristically surprised, and delightfully distracted for a moment, Lightning found the vegetable was cooked to perfection: crispy and nicely seasoned.

Serah's cooking was barely even edible as she remembered it, let alone _good_.

She wasn't sure her appreciation of the meal wasn't just because she was no longer subjected to camp food and rations that required that only water be added, but the home cooking was a satisfying change.

Adding to her sudden trickle of good mood, Snow apologized to Hope, explaining that he was only teasing. The combination of Hope's sheepish smile and the tasty meal was enough for her to turn her interest away from the awkward conversation that followed, but she made sure to listen for queues that her little sister and her stupid boyfriend were picking on Hope, and before she knew it, her plate was clean.

Everyone else appeared to be finished as well, and as Serah rose to collect plates, Snow begged her to sit. Taking up the task himself, Lightning tracked his movements with her eyes. He collected her plate, keeping his distance from the elder sister, and shuffled off into the kitchen.

A few seconds later, he came out with a tray of sweet smelling, decadent looking desserts.

With a slight raise of her eyebrow, she figured that she could, at least, eat – and drink – her way into a coma for the week.


	9. Annoyance

"Where's my sister?"

Snow almost jumped out of his skin.

Lightning hadn't said anything to him when he came into the room; having stepped a good four strides passed the table where she sat; so he could only assume that she_ intended _to scare the shit out of him.

Mustering a tight smile for the older Farron, he didn't waste time in turning to the coffee pot.

"Uh, asleep. I usually get up before her and make -" Snow reached for the carafe and noticed it was mostly full. "...coffee." Peeking over his shoulder, he noticed that Lightning was already drinking a cup of it, staring a hole in him.

He could hear himself swallow as he turned back around and reached for his usual mug... which was not in it's usual spot in the front of the cupboard. Choosing to keep his gaze from her for a third time, he, in his mind's eye, recalled what Lightning looked like sitting where she was behind him at the kitchen table.

Rose hair, a little darker than Serah's, surprisingly pale skin, unapproachable, perpetual scowl pasted on her mouth, and in her hand he remembered a cup: a blue cup; dammit, _his_ cup.

Unthinking, the turn to look at her automatic, he zeroed in on the item she was holding.

There was _no _way he was going to try and get it back from her. He'd rather pour scalding hot coffee in his cupped hands rather than being the subject of her ire so early in the morning.

"What?" She inquired flatly, _still_ looking at him.

Smiling crookedly, he shook his head. Spinning around back to the counter, he snatched the pot up and splashed some coffee haphazardly from the carafe into one of Serah's many mugs. Sloshing over the brim, he bit his lip as the steaming liquid dribbled onto his fingers, still searing even after he hastily shook them dry.

"So. Did you, uh, sleep well?"

"No."

"Oh. Really? Uh, sorry about that."

He had meant to get into a little easy conversation over a cup of coffee instead of just running away like he wanted to.

How quickly he forgot that nothing came easy when the two of them were involved.

Choosing to keep his distance rather than sitting with her at the table, he turned around and leaned on the edge of the counter, huge windows at his back.

Serah had wanted the focal point of the house to be light, so that's how he planned it; windows and skylights wherever he could fit them. The surrounding wilderness was impossibly beautiful, and from where the house stood, every pane of glass showcased the vivid colours of the valley.

After the problems with the elder sister when they left Cocoon, Snow's top priority had been to make Serah happy. Whatever she wanted was brought to life; Snow pouring his heart and soul into the house. Historically, he'd never been very good at expressing much deep emotion, even though at times he was overwrought with it. Instead, he expressed things through his deeds, as he always had.

Their home, for example, was such an expression, and that Serah seemed to love it was all he had ever wanted.

"So, did you get the full tour?" Snow asked, breaking the silence.

"Mmhm."

"Good."

He shifted his weight as he thought of something else to say.

But, what did you say while in the company of the one person you were sure of that hated you?

"Hope's grown up."

She didn't reply. Just stared.

The mug was growing hot in his calloused hands, a side effect of not having _his _cup available. All of the other coffee cups were of thin porcelain; little better than teacups, allowing the heat of the coffee to seep out quickly. Serah liked her dishware lightweight.

Eyes drifting to the blue ceramic still in her hand, Snow had to finally set the blistering coffee cup down on the countertop behind him, while she took a smug sip.

She _had_ to have known what she was doing when she looked into the cupboard to choose something to drink from...

* * *

><p>Of course she saw him looking at her; at his cup; her hands curled around it, long, slender fingers through the handle against the coffee-warmed ceramic. She watched his gaze move from her face to her hands as he obviously struggled with her possession of the mug. Silently daring him to say something to her about the faux pas, he did not. She wasn't overly surprised; it wasn't good form to comment on such a trivial thing. On the other hand, she didn't expect Snow to have any idea about proper etiquette.<p>

Good etiquette, along with many other mature things, seemed incompatible with Snow's general behaviour. Perhaps he'd learned something from Serah.

"Good morning, everyone!" Serah tweeted, her sunny greeting a welcome ray of light into the chilly atmosphere. Lightning found herself glad to see her little sister and opened her mouth to return the greeting, but Snow beat her to it.

"Morning, baby." He said affectionately as she toddled up to where he was standing in front of the coffee pot.

Lightning watched as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her little sister's forehead.

His eyes were closed; his face serene; a little twitch of a smile upon his lips; huge hand woven into the roots of Serah's silky hair.

Suddenly uncomfortable, Lightning diverted her gaze past his head, unseeing through the huge window.

_Ugh. Get a room._

Did they really have to do that in front of her?

Snow sure had grown bold in her absence. Afterall, they both were too afraid of her to ever do anything like that back on Cocoon.

And even though she was tempted to say something, nothing came.

Though she wasn't sure why.

She couldn't even move her eyes back to the scene of the infraction until the mundane sound of the cupboard opening and the bright tinkle of a cup being extracted drew them back.

They were seperated now; Serah having moved to the refrigerator, her tiny frame swallowed up by the huge silver appliance as she stood searching inside it.

"Are you hungry?"

Snow poured some dark coffee into a dainty mug – much like the one he had put down before Serah came into the room – and added a teaspoon of sugar. Then, poured cream into the cup from the mouth of a gaudy ceramic cow that was dwarfed in his mammoth mitt. He looked a bit silly using the thing, Lightning mused as he picked up a spoon and stirred, finally setting the cup down on the table on the opposite side from where she sat.

Then he flashed a smile at her before he retreated from the table, and Lightning found herself again uncomfortable in their presence.

"Thanks, Snow." Came Serah's disembodied voice.

"Anything for you, baby." Snow replied, his own voice warm and rich.

Was he mocking her? What nerve.

_Tch._

"Light?"

"What?" She snapped.

"Uh..." Serah peeked out from behind the fridge door, sounding suddenly hesitant. "Do you want something to eat?"

"No." She said testily, suddenly annoyed with the whole situation.

Gripping the huge mug in her hand, she stood from the table and escaped the kitchen, finding herself tense on the other side of the swinging door.

She shouldn't be here. She just should have stayed home.

They obviously didn't need her, and she had no desire to see them play house.

How was she going to make it through an entire _week_ of this lovey-dovey bullshit without murdering anyone?

Movement at the other end of the hall caught her attention.

Hope was walking quickly toward her, his smile welcoming and warm.

"Morning, Light!"

She felt a little of the tension drain from her, her herculean grip loosening on the well loved mug.

_That's how._


	10. Flower

The next morning it was the same thing.

He wasn't ready to do _that_ again.

He almost didn't go downstairs to the kitchen, worried that she was sitting there, and would continue to stare at him with those judging eyes.

Holding his breath, he swung the kitchen door open noiselessly, peeking around it to survey the scene.

No one was in the kitchen. Not a soul.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he padded into the room and headed for the carafe.

If he could just quickly go through his morning routine without running into her, he could get away and into the city do pick up some things, and by the time he got back, there would be more people at the house for the reunion weekend Serah had planned. Once there were more people at the house, it would be easier to avoid the older Farron, thereby saving him from any opportunity to stick his foot in his mouth and get his ass kicked.

He might have gone too far touching Serah like that in front of Lightning, but hell, Serah was his _fiancee! _ If that didn't give him the right to be familiar and affectionate, then what did? Besides, the other shoe was going to drop this weekend when Serah made the announcement that she was pregnant.

The knowledge, however happy it might have been, was akin to a boulder in his stomach.

He wasn't much of a sprinter... so maybe he should pick up a personal force-field while he was in the city to save him from Lightning's wrath.

His jaw ached just thinking about it.

* * *

><p>Lightning couldn't sleep in. Not since before she started working for the Sanctum when she was a teenager could she sleep in. Actually, the last time she'd slept in had been when her parents had been alive. Even more than that, she could easily say that she hadn't had a decent sleep in over a decade.<p>

It didn't bother her to be up with the sun; she felt the best in the mornings.

Except lately.

Hope had saved her yesterday morning when they happened to meet in the hallway. She'd been itching to leave; just run and leave Serah and Snow and everything behind.

Serah wasn't hers anymore, Snow clearly staked his claim in the kitchen, and Serah seemed to be just fine with that. Kissing and canoodling with her right there watching them? Snow must have really missed her right hook.

After that display, Lightning was seriously tossing around the idea of leaving her little sister's company altogether and heading back to work.

Work needed her, her men needed her, Amodar needed her! Surely things were already going to hell in a hand-basket without her to keep things in line. She could just see Zack Fair with his feet on a stack of _her_ personnel reports laughing stupidly, flirting shamelessly with a pretty secretary.

That had nearly been enough to convince her, but a conversation with Hope changed her mind. The fact that he was happy to see her and visit with her was written all over the kid's face, plastering some thick guilt on her to weigh her feet down.

It had been years since they'd last bonded; not even at their last visit had they really connected as before. She hadn't been able to see past the eyeliner, so that stopped her from being able to understand that Hope was still Hope no matter what. She'd realized that too late, and so the guilt wasn't completely fresh; most of it had been cooling on the back-burner.

It must have been apparent to Serah that Lightning was uncomfortable in the house, so last night at dinner, she'd offered directions to a point of interest in the wilds near the house. Hope suggested they go, and she accepted rather indifferently, but of course anything would be better than sitting around with people she had either grown apart from or didn't like.

Closing the door to her room, she slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed down to the foyer.

Hope was waiting for her downstairs.

Reaching out her hand to open the door, she was surprised when his beat her to it. With an arched brow, she glanced at him sideways to discover his small, hesitant smile as he drew it open for her.

Awkwardly stepping past the threshold, she figured there was a first time for everything.

* * *

><p>Lightning was digging through the pack Hope had brought with him that contained their lunch.<p>

She had been thankful for his quiet demeanour all morning, but she quickly came to realize, with every _skritch_ of the stick in his hand tracing random lines through the dirt under their feet, that Hope must have had something to say. He obviously didn't know how to say it, but Lightning kept her mouth shut. She wasn't about to encourage something he was struggling with. If he wanted to broach it, then fine. Otherwise...

"So. Is.. uh... everything okay with you and Serah?" He asked, his voice like a gentle hand on her shoulder.

_Tch._

So _that's_ what it was; the last thing she wanted to talk about on a sunny summer day.

And just who did he think he was, asking her a question like that?

Who's business was it that she and Serah weren't getting along? Besides, surely it was old news by now, even to their youngest ex-l'cie friend.

She didn't have to answer to anyone; especially not some kid who had no idea what having a sibling meant, let alone what it meant to have to raise that sibling after your parents died.

_Nora..._

It had been years since the dead woman had crossed her mind.

Hope might not have had to raise a sibling like she had, but they had a great hurt in common.

She wondered if he still hurt.

Thrusting one last time into the shadow of the backpack, she finally felt the cellophane wrapped sandwiches. "Here." she said, pulling one out, tossing it easily to the silver-haired kid.

Dropping the stick abruptly in favour of a fumbling catch with both hands, she watched him grow young again. He was the gawky teenager and she was the revered adult. _This _type of relationship between them made her feel back in control; back in the driver's seat where she belonged.

They ate quietly in eachother's company, Hope on a near by tree stump, and as she chewed she couldn't stop her gaze from shifting in his direction.

He was overly focused on eating his plain lunch, eyes cast down toward it.

She hadn't _said_ her thoughts out loud, but she felt a little guilty for them. She wasn't the only one that lost someone dear to her, but at least _he_ still had someone left.

"Why did you come to Cocoon? I know you weren't visiting your father..."

Hope looked up at her, his expression revealing reined in panic. His lips parted, but he had no words for her.

"Look. I know Serah sent you to make sure I came." She said coolly, noting a miniscule change in her young friend's expression. "If she wanted me down here so damn bad, then she should have come herself. She shouldn't have put you in the middle."

"She didn't." He volunteered quickly.

Confusion creased her brow. "What do you mean 'she didn't'?"

"It wasn't Serah who asked me to meet you in Bodhum."

The hesitation in his voice was palpable, but he continued on.

"It was Snow."

She felt her eye twitch at the sound of that name.

_That meddling bastard._

There was nothing she could really say that would be suitable for his ears, so she opted out, instead deciding to stuff her mouth with the last two bites of sandwich.

And obviously Hope knew when to leave well enough alone, because he didn't say anything further.

Even so, it felt like she was sitting on a knotted root leaving the conversation just float there. She had a lot to say, but she knew the boy and that lunkhead were friends as well. It would be unseemly to bitch to a kid that probably idolized him.

Standing stiffly, she fished a few squares of toilet paper from the pack, waving them informatively before she turned and stepped to the edge of the sitting area and into the brush.

_Snow_ was what was wrong with her and Serah's relationship. If that bastard hadn't have come into her life, they'd still be sisters like they'd always been. Serah'd still be at home and working, making herself into a responsible young woman with a career instead of playing house with some lout who didn't deserve her.

Fuming the entire time she pissed, it only got worse as she made her way back. Slapping a whip-thin branch out of her path, she stomped past it angrily.

"I know that I'm probably not the best person for you to talk to about it, but..." Hope was standing right in front of her when she reemerged into the clearing. Inertia carried her too quickly, and she had to really put on the brakes in order not to crash into him. He stood only a handful of feet away, holding a little sunshine yellow flower, all pretty petals with a dark centre, in his hand.

_What the hell...?_

"I learned a lot from this cool chick I met a few years ago... and she helped me out a lot when I needed it."

Closing the distance between them, standing closer to her than he'd ever been since they met in Bodhum, Lightning was able to experience how tall Hope had grown over the years.

He had a few inches on her easily.

Lightning felt Hope tuck the cheery stem behind her ear, the side of his finger brushing over her earlobe, his voice a little shaky and a little higher pitched than normal.

"I was hoping that I might be able to help _her_ out this time."

A moment lingered between them before he took a couple of large steps backward. She studied him, her anger draining from her body and out her feet as she watched his evolving expression. He'd started out looking a little along the confident side, but the more time she let pass the more apprehensive he looked and eventually she shrugged nonchalantly.

Unsure if she really wanted to talk to him about any of it, his air of openness appealed to her need to just get it out, and she was surprised how easily the words came.

"Things haven't gone well for a very long time." She admitted.

Flabbergasted that she was caught completely off-guard for the second time in less than half a day and by a kid, she was even more confused that she wasn't able to stop the staccato explanation of her side of the story.

No, not a kid. Not anymore. If anything attested to that, it was the little flutter in her gut she tried to suppress.

She hadn't meant to keep him on the ropes like she did, but either his kindness or his forwardness had shocked her a little, keeping _her_ on the ropes instead.

_First time for everything indeed._


	11. Grey

_A/N: So, it's been some time. Sorry about that. I've had some major life changes (for the good!) happening, but it's left me with very little time to do anything. Since the muse has been finicky for a while, its hard to find the drive as well._

_If you're looking forward to one of my other stories, be assured that I am working on a chapter of 'Don't Forget My Name' at this time as well. 'Sister, My Sister' will be delayed for a little while longer and may see an update in November.  
><em>

* * *

><p>It was a giggle. She couldn't have mistook it for anything else.<p>

Serah's bubbly giggle.

If she had to witness anymore public displays of affection between her sister and Snow she thought she just might vomit.

Another giggle with a flirty lilt. She heard that giggle way too many times in her life._ That_ was Serah's obnoxious, little noise for Snow's stupid jokes.

"Hey, Light!" greeted Hope.

Eavesdropping wasn't her style, nor was being caught off-guard, but when Hope's soft voice liked to have pierced her eardrums, she reacted with a start.

"Hey." she greeted quietly, turning her body deliberately toward him and away from the obvious voices behind the door, but kept an ear open.

Eyeing Hope suspiciously, she questioned without speaking.

"I was, uh, going to get a snack -"

"Serah!" An unfamiliar voice boomed, causing Lightning's adrenaline to spike, and she took a quick step toward the kitchen door. "You said -"

Hope caught her elbow and shook his head, stopping her advance on the unknown situation. They looked at eachother's concentrating faces, both unseeing, both awaiting Serah's reply.

"I know what I said." Serah snapped, then sighed. "It's just not ... the right time yet."

"It'll never be the right time with you, will it?" the voice demanded, gaining a few haughty decibels.

Lightning squinted, listening intently, though she couldn't tear her eyes away from Hope's. He looked just as baffled as she was.

"I have to be... delicate." Serah added.

_Delicate? _

Lightning's eyes flitted away and back to the kitchen door.

Who was Serah talking to? What was going on?

"I know." The other voice sounded hesitant. "I don't want him to get hurt."

"Then just let me deal with him."

"But the stress..."

Lightning's eyebrow arched.

_Him? Is she talking about Snow?_

"Don't worry about me. I'll see you tomorrow night. Eight o'clock." cooed Serah softly, her voice muffled at the end of her sentence, punctuated with a quick, wet smacking sound.

This time Lightning grappled onto Hope's arm, yanking the kid around the corner and into the living room to hide. Once out of sight, she kept her face turned toward the threshold to see what she could, but didn't want to know bad enough who Serah had been talking to to risk discovery.

She had a feeling this wasn't going to be the end, anyhow.

The front door opened and closed as the guest was shown out, Serah none the wiser to her eavesdropping older sister and friend.

Light footsteps made their way upstairs and once the sounds were gone, the tension in Lightning's shoulders relaxed even though a frown tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"What the heck was that?" Hope spoke, still hushed.

The pink-haired soldier could only shake her head.

* * *

><p>"Will you get that done before everyone starts to show up, Snow? I don't want a big mess all over the yard!"<p>

Serah seemed to be on edge since he'd returned from town. There were a million different reasons she might have been a little stressed out. The party, her sister, their baby...

"This?" he motioned to the swing laying in pieces strewn all across the lawn and then flashed a confident smile. "Oh yeah. I got this."

Serah regarded him in silent skepticism for a moment then turned on her heel and headed back into the house. He watched her go, his smile disappearing as quickly as the screen door slammed. There was definitely something eating her; she wasn't usually snippy – that had always been Lightning's thing.

Looking back down at the 'mess' surrounding him, he checked his watch.

It was little later than he thought.

"Well, I better get started."

First he glanced at the booklet of assembly instructions, but scoffed.

_Heroes don't need instructions._

Grabbing a marked board, he turned it around in his hand, trying to discern which side was supposed to be used first and where. Picking up another in his other hand, his eyes narrowed as he attempted to piece together the various bits in his head.

Picking up piece after piece, Snow began to get an idea of how it was put together and soon he was screwing pieces together left and right, the swing finally taking shape.

The sun was hot overhead in the cloudless sky, the day shaping up to be a little hotter than usual. Taking a second to appreciate it, he peeled off his dampened shirt and chugged a glass of what once was the ice water Serah had brought him earlier. Ice having long since melted, it still tasted good running over the edges of the glass, down his chin, leaving warm, tickly trails in its wake down his barrel chest; perfectly refreshing even without the chill.

With a big, silly sigh, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stretched, enjoying the warmth on his bare skin.

What a great day. It'd be a great night too if he had anything to do with it. Serah was looking forward to having everyone around again; Lightning included.

At the thought of her name, he glanced up at the window to the room the older Farron occupied.

And there she was standing in the window; staring at him.

He could see her pretty petal-coloured hair and white skin from where he stood in the yard, but it was her bright eyes, unblinking, that unnerved him a little. It wasn't the look of a casual glance, though. Perhaps she had been watching him from there.

And after a moment of her strange stare, he waved at her good-naturedly only to have her turn away.

_Batting a hundred on the cold shoulders._

* * *

><p>She couldn't enjoy herself. It just wasn't going to happen. Maybe it was predestined, but sitting in the company of her old comrades-in-arms and Snow's little gang didn't feel right anymore. Lightning hadn't ever really fit in with any of them; the only one she felt some sort of kinship with had been the kid. He obviously felt some connection with her as well, because it had been hard to shake him since they'd arrived, and tonight he'd taken a seat right beside her shortly after the gathering had begun.<p>

"You don't look like you're having much fun." Hope commented both carefully and quietly.

Her eyes shifted to him, and then blinked away, back to the group playing croquet. How _could_ she be having any fun? She couldn't stop thinking about what she'd overheard that afternoon between Serah and whoever it was she had been talking to. It really sounded like some form of illicit affair, but would Serah really do such a thing? And to Snow of all people? And why?

When had things gotten so complicated?

_While I was out playing soldier, I guess._

And where had all that even got her? Sure, she had her own company of soldiers to lead and look after, but she wasn't much more than a glorified babysitter these days; no one to tell her _why_ but everyone expecting her to carry out her duty like a good little lap dog. It didn't really matter, however. She ran her drills, filled in her paperwork, did what she was ordered and tried to avoid things like going home early, vacations, people like her little sister and Snow Villiers.

Snow was on the far side of the lawn, his humongous frame dwarfing the croquet mallet he held in his big mitts. He kept on whacking the ball too hard, having it veer completely off course and away from all of the little white, wire wickets.

And as a result, he was losing.

But he was laughing.

The whole time.

He was _laughing_.

It was a deep, pleasant rumbling. He had a nice laugh. She'd never noticed it before, and joined with the others laughter, it rang through the valley; happy and light-hearted.

Lightning looked at Serah who wasn't playing with the rest, but sitting beside Snow's young friend, Maqui. Lightning remembered Maqui as a high school friend of Serah's. She never had much to do with him personally, and since she discovered and he and Snow were close, she regarded him a little critically for choosing Snow as his role model.

They were deep in conversation, neither one of them even paying the slightest bit of attention to the raucous over the croquet game.

From what she heard earlier, she didn't have to wonder too much about why Serah wasn't hanging off Snow as she had been before.

Which Lightning thought was absolute bullshit.

If she _was_ involved with one of Snow's friends, then she should at least let the brute off the hook and come clean. Snow, from what Lighting saw, was nothing but loyal, attentive and accepting of her little sister. And since he saved her life, she owed him that much.

She took a deep swig of her potent beverage. More alcohol, less girlie was her taste; but Serah had insisted she at _least _have one of those little umbrellas. It looked pretty silly in the whisky glass though...

Whether Lightning _liked_ it was another story... but she figured Serah could have done worse for herself... and _may_ have been doing worse for herself at this very moment. She may not have agreed with whatever Serah was getting mixed up in, but she had to remind herself that her little sister was an adult now and the actions that governed her life were completely up to her now.

_She has no idea what she's throwing away._ Lightning considered, still watching Snow attempt to control his brawn, but ultimately failing; so obvious he was trying to do well.

No _way_ he could exercise finesse. He lacked the patience and skill to do anything delicate – the big hoss. He had incredible strength though, she had to admit, and was really handy in a fight. Tall and broad in all the right places, he could carry the entirety of NORA without breaking a sweat.

And this afternoon when she saw him out the window, all sweaty and shirtless; the light playing off his skin like it was glowing... those rivulets of water dripping down all those right places... She stood looking out the window watching him put the swing together – that she and Hope were currently sitting on – as if it were a child's toy, and quite quickly for a man with his specific skillset.

Lightning shook her head.

What the hell was she doing?

Complimenting Snow? Really?

At least it wasn't to his face or out loud;_ that_ would have been mortifying.

Snatching the silly umbrella from her short glass, she flung it on the ground and hastily downed the rest of her drink, with Hope watching bewildered.

She was either too drunk or not drunk enough but it was obvious she wasn't in her right mind, because what she did next was a huge mistake...


	12. Family

Lightning had gone from contemplative to enraged in seconds.

Nearly leaping up from the swing, she took long, purposeful strides to where Serah sat with Maqui, and grabbed her by the skinny forearm.

"Light?!" she near squealed, scrunching her face when Light yanked her to her feet.

Lightning didn't hear the blond kid speak up at all when Serah was hauled away... not that she cared to listen. She _did_ make a note, however, that if it were Snow she tore Serah from, he'd not let her go so quietly.

Dragging her to the privacy of the kitchen, Lightning all but shoved Serah into the room, closing the patio door behind her and rounded on the shocked youngster.

"Are you being unfaithful?" Lightning demanded.

Serah's face blanched like a kid who'd been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "What?!"

She wished she could have said something like _Mother taught you better_. Or, at least, _I taught you better!_ But she couldn't. Mother should have been here to deal with this and she wasn't, so it fell to Lightning; just like everything else had, and once the question hung heavy in the air, she didn't know what to follow with. What did Lightning know about such things? She had no idea how to deal with matters of the heart; she'd always shut hers away.

Feelings like love served only to make one weak; this was a perfect example.

Uninspired, she ground out the only thing she could, scared that if she spoke that sentence again, the words might fall out of the air and leave their imprints on the linoleum for all to see.

"You heard me."

The silence was deafening and Serah was unable to even meet Light's gaze.

"But why? He risked everything for you!"

Lightning watched as Serah's head sunk into her chest.

"Dammit, Serah! What the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

As an absentee sister by choice for the last few years, she didn't have any rights or any claim on her crumbling sisterly relations. She knew she'd given those up when she told Serah to never come back to their family home, but she couldn't help herself.

Why _this_ mattered wasn't clear to her either; it just _did_!

"Serah?"

Both pink-haired heads snapped to the patio door, Lightning's vision left a bit blurred after such a quick movement.

Snow, face unusually serious, crossed the room to stand protectively beside his fiancee.

"Is everything okay in here? I heard shouting." he said more to Serah than to Lightning.

Lightning snorted obstinately and rolled her eyes.

"Butt out, Snow."

"It's ok, Snow." Serah made a show of putting her hand on Snow's thick bicep "Claire and I are finished speaking."

It wasn't surprising that Snow was concerned with Serah's well-being; that's all he ever was. He obviously had no idea what was being discussed before he'd come along. Lightning almost wished he had been eavesdropping, so she could call Serah out. But Serah has been right; Snow shouldn't have been the one getting hurt... so why was she doing this? Sneaking around, plotting, leading him on like she was.

_Weakness_.

Lightning would never let herself fall prey to such a thing; to give up her heart would be the last thing she ever did. Snow had no idea what was happening, and the woman he loved the most in the entire world was about to shatter the heart he entrusted to her.

_Never._

Lightning left the next day; caught the first flight off Pulse before anyone was even awake.

It was for the best. She didn't think she could stay in that house another minute knowing what she knew about how Serah was going to break the poor guy's heart. He might have been a blowhard, but he was a good guy.

Lightning never had an opportunity to have a boyfriend while she was growing up, having to watch over her little sister the whole time. She barely even had time to foster a crush, but that didn't mean she hadn't ever wondered what that type of thing would be like.

Tom-boyish, blunt and unapproachable, no one ever even looked at her twice.

* * *

><p>Later that morning, nearly the second she arrived home – save for a few minutes to change into her uniform – she was standing in Amodar's office requesting an early return to duty.<p>

She received an enthusiastic "Absolutely not!" for her trouble.

"But Sir."

"No means no, Farron."

She had to try again. Surely he needed her help, even to take her men off his and Fair's hands to free up time and resources.

"But Sir, I would very much like to – "

"I don't want to see you until Monday morning." Amodar informed her curtly. "Am I understood?"

He looked down at his paperwork, the question entirely rhetorical, but she didn't budge, waging her silent protest. After a moment, he spoke to her again, but didn't look up.

"Is there something else?"

She swallowed against the frustration bubbling up in her throat, wanting to jump over his desk and slam his head into it.

"No, Sir. Thank you, Sir." She replied tight-lipped instead of acting on her violent urge. Placing her hat on her head, she strode angrily out of the office.

"Well, look who's back early!" Smiled Zack Fair as he rounded the corner, taking up the middle of the corridor.

She felt her eye twitch at the sound of his voice.

"Captain Fair." she replied icily, side-stepping past him at the last moment.

_Great. Just had to run into _that_ guy._

They would probably comment about what kind of working stiff she was – asking to return to work early – and laugh. She was fully aware that people knew she was more dedicated to her work than anything else, but no one knew why.

And that's how she liked it. Her reasons were her own and she didn't share with anyone.

Allowing one's personal and professional lives to intermingle was also a weakness. She never allowed any personal information to reach anyone; but particularly her subordinates. If people knew too much about you, they could use it against you.

"Nice to have you back!" he called after her.

* * *

><p>It burned as it went down.<p>

It always burned.

The burn was good; kind of like someone rubbing out a knot in your shoulder. It was a good sort of pain.

It reminded her that she was alive; that there were still simple things in life, honest and straight-foward reactions instead of dishonesty and mind games. She was never one to hide her intentions and even though some people didn't know how to take her, she always tried to make sure others knew where she stood with them. That was the best way; be clear about what you expect from others in the most uncomplicated manner possible.

_Uncomplicated._

The desire for simplicity obviously wasn't a family trait. She didn't want to think about Serah and the cruel little game she was playing at the cost of her fiancee almost as much as she didn't want to think about her last day on Pulse. It had been a mistake to go in the first place; she didn't belong with those people anymore.

It was time she just forgot about it now and moved on. She couldn't get involved, none of it was her business, even if she had already crossed the line...

Not that she _wanted_ anyone to get hurt, but sometimes it was unavoidable. There was nothing she could do about Serah and her choices, but Snow didn't deserve what was coming to him, that much was clear. Maybe she'd come to her senses and see what she was throwing away, but it didn't _sound_ like that was an option anymore. Lightning might not know the whole story, but Snow couldn't have done anything to deserve that kind of heartache, especially not from the woman he risked life and limb to return to.

Swishing the amber liquid around in the bottom of the glass in her hand, Lightning sipped thoughtfully, nose wrinkling in distaste, but not from the drink.

She'd never know what any of that would be like, and was sure to be glad for it. Who needed it?

And as for Amodar, she _despised _his stubbornness. He could be so incredibly unyielding. Sure, he was her boss, but since he treated all of his subordinates more like friends it was always a surprise when he pulled rank on them. Lightning, however, was never treated like she had been today.

Almost done her vacation, Light failed to see how returning to work a few days early really could be so disruptive.

"You'd think he'd be _happy_ to see me back early..." she muttered, tipping the glass against her lips to drain it.

And just what the hell was she supposed to do for the rest of the weekend?

Setting the glass down on the coffee table, she turned it around and around absently, attempting to clear out her mind. Yawning, she leaned back in the plush chair, the footrest popping out as she pulled a blanket over herself, cuddling into the soft cushions.

Maybe she should catch up on her sleep.

Letting her eyes droop comfortably, the warmth in her belly spread through her body, and soon she drifted off.

Come the morning, however, Lighting would realize that her dreams weren't an escape.


	13. Trouble Lurking

"_Claire. I miss you."_

_Mom?_

"_Come find me. Come see me."_

_Mom!_

"Mom!"

Throwing herself violently forward, Lightning sputtered as she gasped for air, her lungs seizing painfully from the sudden influx of oxygen. The room spun, the shadows on the wall loomed over her, and she strained in the dimness against their half lit forms.

_Where am I?_

An army camp?

Her hands bawled up in the damp sheets under her as she reeled.

As far as she could make out, she was in a real bed, not a commissioned cot. Her eyes flitted around the space as she attempted to regain her lost equilibrium but the only thing she saw before she was forced to close her eyes against a wave of nausea was a darkened window on the other side of the room.

_Okay, not a camp... but..._

Unsteady hands knotted in her petal coloured hair, her head falling forward into her chest.

A breeze brushed over her skin before the mattress beside her dipping under the weight of something.

Lightning shuddered from the cool rushing over her body; an undeniable presence forcing her to once again survey the room.

And then the shadows moved independently of her own unsteady vision. Like ripples in a dark pond, they seemed to lap against her harmlessly, but they were black and frigid, leaving her muscles tense.

"_Lightning..._"

Hands slid possessively around her torso, one hand cupping a taut breast, the other hard and tightly gripping her hip. The name was a chill on her neck, and she shuddered bodily, her held breath being squeezed from her chest when panic started to swallow all sense.

Under her pillow was a handgun; something she began to keep near her since she'd managed to become one of the only female captains in the Neo-Sanctum. She expected this type of thing from one of her male subordinates. She'd always suspected there were a couple who would get handsy if she let down her guard for one second, and it happened to more females than the reports ever told. She could see the type coming from a mile away.

Able to move, she didn't twist in the strange arms like she should have; hand searching underneath her pillow, but instead, each icy second sapped her will to fight or flee.

"_Light..._" The voice rumbled behind her again. Even thick and resonant with shadowy promise, she _knew_ it from somewhere. It wasn't a voice that she was wary of even though her nature demanded it of her.

And then it was gone; the jumpy shadows, the embrace and the voice.

"What the...?"

Heartbeat still in her ear, Lightning blinked away the fog before her eyes, only to have the nausea return. Moving as quickly as her name, she darted out her bedroom door and into the bathroom across the hall. Heaving into the cold porcelain toilet bowl, she emptied the boozy contents of her stomach.

She knew where she was - _when_ she was - as the present pushed its way into her consciousness, and the more it did, the more the memory of the hallucination seemed to evaporate even though she desperately tried to hang onto it. It meant something – she was sure of it... but what?

Weak and unable to stand, the only impression left with her before she passed out on the floor of the Farron family bathroom was the sense of something cold and powerful lurking beyond the edges of twilight in her mind.

* * *

><p>He asked once about Lightning's hasty departure and received a very half-hearted response from his fiancee. Barely a word, really, but he knew not to ask again. Serah got a strange look on her face when he was silly enough to attempt to broach the subject for a second time. Whatever had happened between them that night when he walked in on their conversation had pissed Serah off. Actually, he wasn't quite sure that was it, because he'd not ever seen Serah in the state she was in since that night. His instincts, however, told him to just stay away from it.<p>

And even though Snow was usually content to stay out of the Farron's sister's family issues, this turn of events concerned him in more ways than one; he just wasn't quite sure how. Lightning told him to 'butt out', which was in the vein of the fare he usually received from her, but the air in the room felt different than usual.

It could have just been him, but he had the nagging feeling he was missing out on a huge piece of the puzzle and no one was forthcoming with any information. Out of both concern and curiosity, he posed the question of Lightning's departure to Hope. Hope claimed he had no idea, but it was very obvious there was something going on. Even so, he didn't press the boy.

It had been eating away at him for days. He needed some sort of resolution, but no one was willing to give it to him.

Especially the one person who should have confided such things in him.

She was colder toward him than she had been lately, even going to far as to ask him to sleep on the couch.

He chalked it up to the pregnancy.

That would have to do until he could somehow uncover more of what was really happening.

So every morning for the last week he woke up on the couch, got ready to go into the city to oversee operations at NORA only to leave halfway through the day to drive aimlessly around the countryside, or sit in quiet contemplation at his favourite spot overlooking the fast growing metropolis. Only when the day aged into dusk would he head home, making a stop at Serah's favourite little market to pick up some things for her. And every night he walked through the door of their home into silence. Serah wouldn't come out of the bedroom unless he beckoned her; tried to tempt her with food or affection – the latter of which she had zero interest in.

With Serah completely closed off to him, Snow was at a complete loss.

He wasn't good at silence.

_Or_ women.

* * *

><p>She needed a good workout. Unable to get back to sleep after the strange dream, Lightning decided that working herself until she dropped was the best course of action. And the best place in town for that was where she had been forbidden to even step foot into until Monday morning. Still, it was Saturday and Amodar always took Saturdays off. Saturdays were her day to run things at the barracks, but since the arrival of a certain overly-friendly officer, even <em>that<em> wasn't a pleasure anymore.

Though if she acted quickly, she'd get in and out before Fair had even turned the lock; just over an hour until he opened up shop for the day.

Grabbing a sweater to keep off the cool of the early morning, she sprinted out the door and down the street.

She would have been lying if she said that dream hadn't shaken her somewhat. But even now she wasn't sure why anymore. What little she thought she managed to retain was lost to her and the more she even considered what it may have meant, the more it confounded her.

Not to mention her mother had been on her mind the whole time and she, for the life of her, couldn't figure out why.

A few minutes later, barely registering the passing scenery of the neighbourhood, Lightning swiped her badge to unlock the door to the training area.

Training kept her thoughts contained inside the boundaries of her task but it was all too obvious when distraction pushed its way inside her head. A weak punch or a missed connection with her foot left her cursing aloud and starting the exercise over again. Mental soundness was something that she prided herself on, and maybe because it was the end of her first week back, but she was completely useless after the days stresses. With a deep breath, she set her stance to restart the last set of drills – for the _third_ time.

_Alright. Focus, Farron._

"Didn't expect to see _you_ here." Echoed a male voice.

_Fuck._

Taking a deep breath before reluctantly breaking form, Lightning turned casually around to see Zack Fair standing on the perimeter of the gymnasium.

Her eyes shifted to the clock on the wall; ten minutes passed the hour. She should have been gone fifteen minutes ago to steer clear of him, but instead, she managed to get herself caught_._ It could have been _so _easy...

Without a spoken word, though mentally scolding herself, Lightning strode purposefully to the bench near where Zack was standing, picked up her towel, dabbed her forehead and headed for the door.

"Hold up!"

She stopped without quite knowing why, flipping the towel over her shoulder.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Going to bed." She said a little more miserably than she would have liked.

"Without supper?" he asked, regaining a playful lilt in his voice.

_Tch. _Lightning turned around to face him. "What do you want, Fair?"

Obviously refusing to be phased by her short tone, he didn't skip a beat.

Avoidance seemed to be an effective tool to keep Fair at bay, but now she felt trapped and only had herself to blame. Why didn't she just keep walking? Why stop? There was nothing he had to say that might interest her in the least.

"Let me take you out to eat."

"No."

"Great! I'll pick you up at seven." He said cheerfully, his long legs striding easily passed her. With one hand pushing the bar down and the door open, he smiled, waving her through.

She didn't move, not knowing quite what to do with the situation.

"Ladies first." He grinned.

Lightning ground out a curse and stomped passed him.


End file.
